#JohnBurns

Triumph has announced three new classics. Why not? The Bobber Triumph Factory Custom leads the way. Only 750 of these will be produced, Triumph’s third high-end Factory Custom.

What exactly the hell is the meaning of this, letting a 30-year old kid be the Powertrain Project Engineer for an all-new bagger? What could a callow youth who roadraces a 15-year old GSX-R600 and rides a Tuono on the street, possibly know about the bagger mentality? When they’re not tearing around on sportbikes (and Indians!) because the snow’s too deep up in Minnesota, that 30-year old engineer (who only spoke to us on condition of anonymity) and Product Director Josh Katt are plotting mostly legal routes to get to work on Polaris snowmobiles. If that’s not heretical enough, Indian put a Swedish guy who designed BMW motorcycles for 15 years in charge of design – Ola Stenegard.

I don’t even know whose idea it was to put an Akrapovič pipe on a perfectly good Honda Monkey, but it fell to yours truly to do the deed. And in fact I was happy to do it – to get out of the office for a day and hang with our good friend Chris at MotoGP Werks in beautiful Anaheim, California. It all takes me back to the day when new exhausts were the first thing we did to unleash the anger in our neighbors, followed by weeks of tinkering with jet kits and dousing ourselves in gasoline to try to get the bike to run as good as it used to. I kid, those things really did used to make big performance differences – but it seldom seemed as easy as the directions made it out to be.

Add helmet communicator to the long list of new tricks this old dog resisted learning. Riding always felt like the only quiet time in a wired world, where I could do a little of what felt like meditating – I always enjoyed the solitude. Well, screw that. The voices in my head are increasingly pissed off lately at the absurdity of it all; how about a little diversion?

Dear MOby,

You really do need a program to keep track of all the players at Harley-Davidson. I’m still in a constant state of bewilderment even after all these years trying to keep track of the Glides and Ultras and FXRs and things as they come and go. After passing summary judgment on the new Low Rider S last week, it’s time to move on to the new Touring models, all of which at least still carry the prefix “FL.” (As do some Softails, possibly a Dyna or two – now retired – and possibly a trike. Let’s move on.)

Well, the new-for ’19 RT has put on 20 pounds compared to the R1200 RT that preceded it, but one good thing about that weight gain is it makes it that much easier for us to justify calling it Best Touring Bike – an award that’s traditionally gone to your Gold Wings and your Harley-Davidson FLs.

That’s “S” for Sport. The last one of these we rode was a 2016, when it was built upon the now-defunct Dyna platform, ie., twin shocks out back. This 2020 Harley-Davidson Low Rider S is new from the nubs up. It’s now built upon the new Softail frame that debuted in 2018, with a single shock cantilevered under the seat, and joins ten other 2020 Softail models.

Well yeah, the FTR did not win our little Monster 1200/Yamaha XSR900 comparo, and is currently taking heavy fire in the Comments section from the sportbike purists. But as you know, MOBOs are also selected using other criteria, including historical significance, originality, and the debating skills and/or ability of a given bike’s proponent to wear the other contenders down with BS via Google Hangout.

As the philosopher said, a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds. What were we supposed to compare the new Indian FTR1200 to?

Triumph knows a thing or two about winning Best Standard MOBOs. Last year, the Street Triple RS took home the honors, and two years before that, the Street Twin landed a MOBO. Impressive. And that’s the word that we would use to describe the 2019 Triumph Speed Twin.

Who would’ve thought the Scooter category would be the one to tear apart our once happy and cohesive team, leaving it in tattered shreds of its former glory. Sometimes it’s up to the youngest and brightest to stand up to the old guard to bring to light what is honest and true. [Easy there, Sparky. —Ed.] And that, in this case, is bestowing the 2020 Vespa GTS 300 HPE platform with Motorcycle.com’s Scooter of the Year award.

Well, the old Shorai LFX battery lasted nine years in my carbureted 2000 Yamaha R1, so if this one does that well, I’ll be happy. When we got the Shorai in 2010, lightweight lithium batteries were a new and exciting technology to fear and loathe, and Shorai was one of the only players. Today, there are many more lithiums on the field, so I did what most people do: I looked for the cheapest lithium battery that didn’t have terrible reviews. 

Does Kevin Cameron still have to change tires? I mean, riding your choice of the latest bikes to Laguna Seca for World Superbike weekend, followed by a Pirelli-sponsored track day Monday, is a dream come true for any motorcycle person, but maybe you don’t want to see how the MO sausage is made. Pirelli wanted us to mount up its new Supercorsa TD (Track Day) tires ahead of time, and they drop-shipped me two sets. Two sets because when Troy couldn’t make the ride this year, I volunteered my son Ryan to ride the Ducati Supersport in his place. Ryan was, to say the least, excited.

Dear MOby,