#JohnBurns

I used to think 10 Big Ones was a lot of dough ’till I started pricing new pickup trucks. Now, I realize it’s chicken feed. Let me eat cake. Sure, yes, I know there are great used bargains for half that much, but a private seller’s not going to give you a 1% APR for three years like Suzuki does, you’re not going to ride off on the shiniest, newest bike on the block, and you won’t have the inner warmth of knowing you’ve done your part to stimulate the moto-economy. Here’re my picks!

Once upon a time there was the Honda CBR600F, or Hurricane as it was called in the U.S. The magazines tripped all over themselves and I thought maybe I would spend my GI Bill tuition for one, but they were all sold out and I got a left-over 500 Interceptor instead – my first new motorcycle! Just as well, there was less plastic to scrape up.

Dear MOby,

Dear MOby,

Oliepiel in the Netherlands has posted what are reportedly leaked shots of the new long-anticipated Honda Gold Wing, and what could be a new F6B-type bagger. The photos definitely have a legitimate look; the bikes appear to be finished products and ready to roll on October 24, which would mean these are what Honda was teasing with its “What Lies Beyond” video we posted on 9/11 (which features an original GL at the end).

The RPHA MAX Modular that HJC so graciously sent to my passenger Chrissy Rogers for our recent Yamaha Star Venture first ride was such a nice-looking lid when it popped out of the box, I thought it was a new model. I was wrong; T. Roderick tested it five years ago.

Dear MOby,

I don’t know why they call them “the fairer sex,” as they can be pretty unfair. When I offered Chrissy Rogers an all-expenses two-day paid vacay riding around on (back of) the new Yamaha Star Venture a couple months ago, I sensed some resistance. I sweetened the pot with a casual “maybe we can get you some new boots.” Fish on!

Yes, we just included the new 2017 Ducati Multistrada 950 in a little three-bike comparison test last week, where it finished less than one percentage point away from the win. Since then, I’ve had the chance to spend more time on the bike in my native habitat, and I can now reconfirm how right I was in the first place! As usual. Mostly.

Dear MOby Sir,

Not having saddlebags on your ADV bike is good for at least one thing: a good excuse not to camp out – and since these three all clock in at around $13,000, the occasional cheap hotel or Airbnb cabin won’t break the bank. Ducati, in fact, offers a Touring Pack for its new Multistrada 950 that includes (really good) sidebags, Suzuki offers same-key hard bags too on the V-Strom 1000 – but we left them behind because we’re going bare-bones with this little less-is-more test.

OMG WHAT’S THE WORLD COMING TO?! PACKS OF WILDING MOTORCYCLES ALL OVER THE COUNTRY GIVING US RESPECTABLE MOTORCYCLISTS A BAD NAME AND BRINGING THE GUB’MINT DOWN UPON US!!

Dear MOby,

What’s a “bagger” anyway? I may not have been aware of the term as it applies to motorcycles until I saw a copy of Baggers on the newsstand, back when we had those (newsstands). They really were the rage there for a while and maybe still are. I mean, what’s better for the average Joe America Motorcyclist than a hot-rod Harley with integrated hard bags to transport your stuff in? A bike with a windshield you can go places on but still be cool, man. Especially if you can crank up a little Molly Hatchet en route. Hot mamas in bikinis will be lining up to pose on your bike for photography.

Dear MOby,