#JohnBurns

I’m a little worried about the valve deal that causes the dishwasher to flood under the sink whenever I use it, but Thanksgiving’s done so that can wait. The Ranger’s AC is out, but now it’s winter (and 72 degrees on my Kalifornia patio). There’s a clunk under the Jaguar that might be a ball joint or something, but no wheels are obviously falling off. My child is having GF problems, but he’s 23 and suddenly self-supporting. I think there are a few other items; luckily I’ve forgotten them.

Dear MOby,

Dear MOby,

Dear MOby,

I see Comrade Burns has taken another page from John’s Little Red Book to hold forth yet again on his notion of making the United States a communal roadside bangles and holistic herbal healing stand. From each according to their abilities, to each according to their needs or something. In the last episode, we discovered the reason kids aren’t buying bikes is because we don’t live in a worker’s paradise. Well I’d like to take a moment and interrupt John’s embryonic five-year plan to simply say, “Piffle.”

Eight new Softails weren’t enough, so here’s one more in Harley’s march toward 100 new motorcycles by 2027 – the FLSB Sport Glide makes it nine. Harley-Davidson pictures this one as “a quick-change artist, an aggressive factory-custom cruiser outfitted with a detachable fairing and saddlebags ideally suited for touring, cruising or commuting.”

Here it is in the flesh, the first mass-produced Ducati motorcycle to mount a four-cylinder engine, and it’s derived, Ducati says, directly from the MotoGP Desmosedici. Actually there are three of them: Panigale V4, Panigale V4S and V4S Speciale – the latter two with electronic Öhlins suspension featuring a new Smart EC 2.0 system, plus forged aluminum wheels, lithium ion batteries, and other assorted exotica. If that’s not rich enough, the Panigale V4 Speciale is a numbered, limited-edition bike with dedicated livery, titanium exhaust and CNC-machined from billet components. If you have to ask how much, don’t ask.

This one should go some way in comforting the bereaved mourning the passing of the Panigale 1299. Though this smaller L-Twin is but a measly 955cc, the 2018 Ducati 959 Panigale Corse arrives rated at 150 hp @ 10,500 rpm and 75 pound-feet of torque @ 9,000 rpm. Which is really quite a bit more than enough for most people, all in a package Ducati says weighs 435 pounds (wet, with a 90% fuel load). This special Corse model also gets suspension by Öhlins, some street-legal Ducati Performance Akrapovič titanium silencers, a lightweight lithium-ion battery, and a MotoGP-inspired matte paint scheme. Ducati says the 959 Panigale Corse is ready to race, (Isn’t that KTM‘s line?) but the valve clearances still only need to be checked every 15,000 miles.

And now for my next complaint. The topic keeps coming up: Why aren’t more people buying motorcycles? When applied to Millennials, we conjectured a few Whatevers ago – after minutes of careful thought and some research including opening our eyeballs – that they’re not buying more motorcycles because they have no money. I’ll add to that today: In addition to not having any money, riders are also not buying more motorcycles because they simply have no damn time to ride them.

Dear MOby,

Say, did we miss the Suzuki GSX-R’s 30th birthday party? Sorry about that – but you know how it is when you have so many children running around the house. You lose track. The GSX-R grew so ubiquitous over the years – if you weren’t tripping over one in the garage, you were backing over one in a parking lot or crashing one at Willow Springs. Lately, however, there seems to be a lot of interest in the motorcycle that led Suzuki directly to the GSX-R. That would be the GS1000R, better known now as XR69.

Our man Evans came back breathless about the new 2018 Honda Gold Wing a couple days ago. With its new ride-by-wire engine, optional electronic suspension, and overhauled electronics and entertainment systems, the long-running, long-distance ’Wing has definitely entered the 21st century. These five specs, though, are the ones that jump off the page as the ones that we expect are going to transform what was a touring bike into a truly sporty touring bike.

Honda announced new electric and hybrid versions of its PCX scooters at the Tokyo Motor Show. Both are scheduled to go on sale as 2018 models in Asia, including Japan. For now, the only PCX in North America remains the PCX 150.

UPDATE: We’ve added some more photos of the Honda Neo Sports Cafe concept straight from the Tokyo Show floor.

Dear MOby,