The angel of the Lord called to Pierre Terblanche from heaven a second time and said, “I swear by myself, declares the Lord, that because you have damn near sacrificed the 900SS, and have not withheld the new bodywork and fuel injection, I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies, and through your offspring all nations on earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed me.”

Idle hands are the devil’s workshop; idle lips are his mouthpiece. In those ancient days of MO, before the turn of the century, we were too damn busy to chisel down more than a few notes on our stone tablets at the launch of Ducati’s first modern sport-touring motorcycle. That, or hackers, who could be from anywhere, have made off with the servers that contained the rest of the story and the photos. There is this:

And in those days of King Jeremy and the two-stroke armies, there appeared from the east a revolutionary four-stroke MX bike. Surely this heavy, complex DOHC Philistine won’t catch on among the premix masses? No one can nac-nac such a gnar machine? Ahhh, wrong again. Our MO correspondent was already bored at first ride. 

It’s an ill wind that blows no man good. Two years BC – Before the Crash – your sport-touring choices were considerably less plenteous than today. Or maybe these were the only three the crew could round up at a time when online mags were still scrambling for equal rights? Twelve years on, in the reign of Trump, if you got the money, honey, we’ve got many more great S-T/ ADV-bike options. Let us pray.

Thou art Pete, and upon this Briquette you shall write the 2008 Supersport Shootout. Ten years ago, the Great Recession was gathering steam and the middleweight sportbike class was a place every manufacturer had to be, including Triumph. The results may not surprise you.

What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun. And Yamaha will still sell you a brand-new XT250 for a mere $750 more than this twenty-year old XT350.

Let he who is without sin huck the first stone at the then-15-year old Virago 750. And all of the MO editors dropped their stones, for none were holier than thou, and all knew they needed to play nice as Motorcycle Online was just getting off the ground.

And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? The Victory Vision was a very nice motorcycle with a revolutionary message. It gave its life so that others might live to ride Indians.

And so it was written, I’ll B-King when dogs get wings. This rare Suzuki sounds like a great used naked bike if you’re in the market, and nearly new at ten years old.

The new Panigale is a nice-a bike, but the thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun. Former EiC Kevin Duke waxed effusive over the new Panigale V4  here, but ten years earlier there was already a Twin Pulse V4-powered Ducati for him to get equally worked up about – the Desmosedici RR. Among the other mysteries of MO is why all the punctuation marks in here are replaced by ? in black diamonds… pretend you don’t notice as we stroll down memory pit lane.

Now I watched when the Lamb opened one of the seven seals, and I heard one of the four living creatures say with a voice like thunder, “Come!” And I looked, and behold, a white horse! And its rider had a bow, and a crown was given to him, and he came out conquering, and to conquer. When he opened the second seal, I heard the second living creature say, “Come!” And out came another horse, bright red. Its rider was permitted to take peace from the earth, so that people should slay one another, and he was given a great sword. When he opened the third seal, I heard the third living creature say, “Come!” And I looked, and behold, a black horse! And its rider had a pair of scales in his hand.

In those days, the rate of publication wasn’t anything like it is today, and so Plummer and Roland Sands and the other three wise men were able to spend not only days at Willow Springs, but even more time at SoCal’s finest dragstrips, wearing out clutches and making passes in an apparently tireless effort to name 600 numero uno – at a time when that class was hugely important. Suzuki, Honda, Yamaha and Kawasaki all still produce great 600 supersport bikes, but it’s not like it was 19 years ago.

And then the earth cooled, and that layer just beneath the mantle God called the Magna. Twenty-one years ago, pixels were rare as pintles, Motorcycle Online was three years old and print was not yet dead. Take it away, Billy B…

And on the seventh day, I was riding a shiny new black BMW and another bike up to Calistoga and back, which is the next best thing to resting, and so here is this Sabbath’s apropos CoMO without further ado. Everyone behave yourselves, alright? Be nice to others and get some walking in.

And in those days, according to this archaic MO comparison anyway, there were only two: the BMW Methuselah R1100GS and the Triumph Tiger 900. And so they set out across the burning sands, two by two, to see which was more worthy, unaware that the ADV niche would become so yuuge 21 years later.

Fifteen years after the original VF750F Interceptor, which was a spacecraft at the time, and 20 years before the current VFR, which is frankly a bit underwhelming, Honda gave us the `98 VFR800FI. As soon as that bike was baptized, it went up out of the water. Suddenly the heavens were opened, and the moto-press saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and resting upon the VFR’s comfy seat. And a voice from Honda’s PR department said, “This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased!” Amen.

In 1923 Max Friz built ze first BMW Boxer, and it was good. Then there were two pesky wars that interrupted business for a few decades, but by the `50s things were back in semi-action. In 1970, BMW parted the Atlantic Ocean, and its new series of  /5 air-cooled Boxers escaped to America. In 1993, the oil-cooled Boxer arrived; five years of maturation resulted in this naked R1100R version. Twenty years later, BMW still builds the R1200R roadster. Whirled without end, amen. 

In 1985 Suzuki begat the Intruder 700 and 1400 – air-cooled V-twins designed to get a bite out of that huge North American market, after Yamaha had established a beachhead and taken a print and verbal scourging with its first V-twin Viragoes. In 1992 the 700  begat the Intruder 800, and in 1998 the 1400 begat the Intruder 1500 LC, that’s “Legendary Classic.” Of all of them, the VX800 was the most righteous, but it was also not an Intruder and so why bring it up? And so it is written.

And in MO’s fourth year, Harley-Davidson gave the Sportster piggyback shocks and a fork that was adjustable, along with a hopped-up motor that spat out one more horsepower than before. And on the seventh day Willie G rested. And so it is written, alongside the usual tiny photos.

And in those days, my children, MO could run a road test of a motorcycle while barely giving any photographic hint of what the thing actually looked like. Or maybe the photos were there once upon a time, but have faded into the mists of time… In any case, in those days we didn’t need 200 horsepower to have a good time, though for this particular Sound of Singles hottie you did need $10,000 – a princely ransom 22 years ago. Speaking of princely, this one stars Todd Canavan and pics by the great Billy Bartels (where’s the rest of the slides, Billy?).

1998, brethren, marks the 25th anniversary of the Ducati Monster – the first modern “naked” bike, not that we endorse nudity here in the church of MO. But since 1993 was BM (Before MO), the best we can do as we wander through the catacombs is this quick review of the `98 M900S. We’ve come a long way in what feels like a short time, haven’t we?

And in those days, Honda didn’t want to build a big V-Twin sportbike because it never had before, and let those among you who like change cast the first piston. But the great Roman King Taglioni  had been making serious inroads with his big V-Twins lately, not to mention smiting Honda mighty blows in Superbike racing around the world for many years. And so the Super Hawk came to pass, Honda’s first big V-Twin and one of its most charismatic motorcycles of all time, if you ask me – sort of a Japanese Ducati Monster but better in every way. That “pivotless” frame foretold (failed) Ducati experiments to come, and those 36mm intake valves and 48mm carburetors were the biggest ones ever attached to a Honda… and it was good. 

And speaking of MO in ancestral times, our theme lately in “Church of” has been to open the book to things that happened 20 years ago – which should include the unveiling of the revolutionary 1998 Yamaha R1. In those ancient days, however, online magazines were such a new thing that MO sometimes was snubbed at new motorcycle introductions – which seems to be the case with that first R1. That, or we did publish a First Ride review that’s hiding in some www rabbit hole. Fear ye not! Here’s MO alumnus Minime Avis reporting from the updated 2000 R1’s launch in Spain! This would also be a good time to praise the IT Man upstairs for the increased bandwidth we’ve gained in 18 years; were the photos really that tiny?

Today’s reading, brethren, comes from the Book of Luke, which tells us, “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.” Hence the Ducati 748, little sister of the now-legendary 916, which reaches the age of consent this year. On a race track, the 916 was the trustiest motorcycle of the day. On the street, where sheer horsepower is seldom the key to happiness, the 748 and its higher-revving L-Twin extended an even more sincere invitation to twist its grip and let the feathers fly. Amen.

And in those days the Roman Emperor Max slew all the other 250 riders on an Italian bike nobody had ever heard of before. And few of us Philistines much cared, since two-strokes had been banished from the land years earlier. For this impression, then, MO had to travel to a foreign land, Aprilia! No, wait, that’s the name of the bike. Will they ever amount to anything?

And in those days, when the Yamaha R1 was brand new and many feared more Spartan soldiers like it were on the way, Honda said fear not: Why should ye not have real sportbike performance, in a comfortable package to soothe the back as well as the soul? Yea, though it goeth like stink, the new VFR roosts beside pastures of tender grass, it causeth us to lie down for a quick nap, by quiet waters it doth lead us. It actually was one of the greatest all-round sportybikes of all time.

And in those days there was a cataclysmic El Nino in SoCal, and it rained for at least forty days and forty nights. MO’s leaky roof shorted out the dyno and caused those early MOites to begin building an ark, upon which they loaded all the animals and floppy discs, two by two. But none of that is an excuse for this truncated First Impression of BMW’s first American-style cruiser, the riding of which takes place somewhere dry. There’s not even a photo of the bike. What giveths? 

Last Sunday, we travelled back in time 20 years to shaketh down the Superbikes of the era. Today, brothers and sisters, we wondereth what happened to Part 2? The interwebs giveth and the interwebs taketh away. At least there remaineth Part 3, such as it is. Not so much a conclusion and a declaration of who would be King, but more a wandering off into Chuck Graves’ modified racing R1 compared to the stocker and the mighty Ducati 916 SPS. The MO works in mysterious ways…

And in those days, when men were men (quite literally in one case), they gathered all together with the great motorcycles of the day, in the desert. And there did they smoketh of the tires, and yea verily did they grind of the gears, the greatest men of the day – King Roland of Sands, King Graves of Chuck, along with Brett Landes the dirt tracker, and MO’s founder, King Plummer, and his disciples. For three long days they rode around the Springs of Willow and launched themselves down the dragstrip, in a time that seems far, far more than just 20 years ago. 

And so it came to pass that King Brent of MO, and St. Billy the Apostle, travelled across the desert to ride the revised CBR at Las Vegas Motor Speedway, which in those days had just been erected. And in those days, King Brent claimed for himself the fastest lap at the press intro, or maybe it was second fastest, and it was good in his own mind. Meanwhile, John the Blameless, and his disciple Minime, got in big trouble for showing up late from Sin City to bow down before Mr. Baba, and so ensued a great wailing and gnashing of teeth and gears throughout the land…

Dearly beloved, the Truth is Out There, but it’s not always easy to decipher what it is in this 20-year old MO shootout – only four years after the world’s first online motorcycle mag made its glorious debut. Well, more tenuous than glorious. It was tough to borrow motorcycles from the manufacturers to test when the interwebs were just getting started, and even tougher to produce real-magazine quality content on a bean burrito budget. Especially when things went wrong. Which they did a lot. And yet, this is the way MO was when we were very poor and very happy. Actually, not much has changed. Amen.

Let us look back, brethren, upon a time when life was all about jets and needles and flywheel weights, and less about plug-in modules and laptops. When analog men headed off into the unknown with nothing more than mechanical skills, their wits, and different oil thicknesses to tame the savage wilderness. When KTM’s US HQ was in Lorain, Ohio, and was only beginning to understand there was a new thing called pavement…
——————————————————————————————————-

Why should we ride dirt bikes, Lord? You really shouldn’t, he replied. Most of you will hurt yourselves, and then I will abandon you to the wilderness, you and all the fish of your dry rivers; you will fall on the open field; you will not be brought together or gathered. I have given you for food to the beasts of the earth and to the birds of the sky. Then all the inhabitants of Egypt will know that I am the LORD, Because they have been only a staff made of reed to the house of Israel. That harshethed their buzz, and ATK quit making dirtbikes in Utah. Who knows?

And in those days each Japanese manufacturer built an inline 600cc Four-cylinder sportybike, and so it made it natural to compare them, an eye for an eye, a nose for a nose. And if any bike should smite the eye of the other three, or the eye of his maid, that it perish; then that bike shall go free and prosper in the marketplace. Or that was MO’s story, anyway.

And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of these teeny motorcycles, ye have done it unto me. Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels:

Bring out the new Triumph T509 Speed Triple, the Buell S1 White Lightning and the Ducati Monster so that we can ride around on them, they told Lot. Hell to the no, he told them, take my two daughters instead. No! And with that they wheelied off on the three wicked motorcycles toward Sodom and Glendale. Well that just tears it, said the Lord, and he smote all the editors on this one with blindness, even as he turned a pinch of salt loose in the Triumph’s fuel system. As God’s punishment, it came to pass that every MOron’s love life would always be way complicated, and that Erik Buell would be the only one among them to grow wise with age. And so it was written. 

Dearly Beloved, after all the new-bike excitement, it seems like a good time to wander in the desert for 40 days 20 years ago. My XR400R is no longer with us, mostly because it was harder to start than an underwater fire, but that doesn’t mean it was a bad motorcycle. Hate the sin, not the sinner. And remember to keep properly grounded thy kill switch. Anyway, let us journey back to the very beginnings of the modern four-stroke dirtbike era, just before Yamaha begat the first YZ400F.

A reading from the book of Brent: “Newbie riders should simply skip the TL and go straight to the morgue.” Life in those days, brethren, was nasty, brutish and short – and Ducati wouldn’t loan us a motorcycle then, either. Minded did we not, though, as the Honda VTR1000 SuperHawk and Suzuki TL1000S provided plenty of thrills for our illustrious founder and testing apostles. In those days, too, the video was discovered,  though the links seem to have broken somewhere in the mists of time. And so it is written.

How time flyeth. In 2007, even Suzuki was coming up with strange, sake-inspired concepts, Yamaha too – but no one could outdo Honda, as it prepared to roll out the wildly unpopular DN-01. Verily, we know not what the morrow will bring; the Great Recession was almost upon us, and young Alex Edge was about to leave us. 

And in those days, Duke Danger first appeared at MO, and the whole crew was cast out into the desert: Pete and Buzz, Fonzie and a young man named Alex Edge who made an all-too-brief appearance on our pages. And so King Curtis of Willow, who was begat by Ray, who was begat by Okies, welcomed them, and amid a great wailing and gnashing of gears, and noshing of Cheetos, test the Big Four they did do. A reading from the book of Pete…

Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here to remember how exciting it was when the first modern modern Triumph appeared 20 years ago. Angels sang from on high, as did Colin MacKellar from our Dutch Desk. MacKellar had managed to get a test spin on Hinckley’s first bike with a sweet perimeter frame Harris helped it build, a new slimmed-down 955cc Triple Lotus helped it with, and, well, “Triumph has produced a bike that can sit at the pinnacle of Open Sportbike excellence alongside the 916, Fireblade, YZF and ZXR and kick ass. It is quite simply a miracle in our time.” Though his words live for eternity, the stunning technology of the time allowed us to shrink MacKellar’s beautiful photos to roughly 18 x 12 pixels. Behold!

In those days, they had no need for copy editing, as the words flowed forth as freely as the wine and frozen Cheetos. And if MO posted one thing a week, it was doing fine. Why not let’s all ride to San Francisco for a week?  Yes, let’s – and post a 10,000-word story when we get back. Ahh, the good old days.
———————————————————————————————————–

1976 Honda CB550F Supersport: Turning a Sow’s Ear into a Different, More Expensive Sow’s Ear

And at some point, God said let there be photos on MO that you can click on to make them even bigger and clearer, and so it came to pass. But not by 2008, when we ran this 50th anniversary celebration of S&S Cycle. For the occasion, S&S handed out engines to a bunch of custom builders, which bikes were then photographed by the illustrious Michael Lichter, six of which are featured in this MO feature. Too bad the photos are so tiny, and even worse that when you click on them they stay that way. Little did we know that the custom cruiser Ice Age had already begun.

And so the three wise men from the East offered unto the Baby Jesus gifts of frankincense and myrrh, also bells and whistles and an airbag, and it was good. Mary was tired of riding the ass anyway, and Joseph was glad to be able to crank up the sound system. Now it was left only for somebody to invent gasoline. And interstate highways.

Yea verily as Ducati unveils its new V-Four engine at this weekend’s Italian MotoGP, let us not forget the other spicy Italian brands that have come before. I.e., to wit, the fabulous V65 V-Four which Aprilia first let rip there on the sacred shores of the Adriatic lo these eight years ago, a beatific beast that’s gone on to capture our hearts, minds, and more than a few Motorcycle.com Best of Awards including this year’s Best Sportbike and Best Streetfighter/Hooligan (in Tuono form).

Well, it’s not the first time Valentino Rossi’s broken a leg and ruined a great season for us fans. When the same thing happened in 2010, our WLF hero made his comeback at the US MotoGP round at Laguna Seca. Strange, it was a far different landscape only seven years ago. Things change, but remain the same…

Well, two of them anyway: Yamaha FZR600 and Suzuki Katana 600. By `97, both were long of tooth and short of performance, but you could pick one up with factory financing as low as 14.9%! Indestructible though these things seemed to be, they were also disposable. You don’t see many of either anymore, not in our neck of the woods. RIP, and let us give thanks for the FZ-07s, SV650s, and other inexpensive blessings Yamaha and Suzuki have showered upon us in the ensuing years. Amen.

When was the first MO bike review written? So far back in the mists of time, no one is certain. But this Riding Impression of the 1995 Honda ACE, written in April of that year, is getting back there. At the time, there was a waiting list for Harley-Davidsons, so Honda thought it might be a good time to get in on the action with its own American-built cruiser. Rumble back in time with us, won’t you?
——————————————————————————————————

Consider the lilies of Bakersfield, they don’t toil, nor do they spin (because there really aren’t any) – but there is Buttonwillow Raceway and Highway 155. Gabe weaves a nice tale around the new 2007 Buells anyway, including the XB-RR racer. Later in 2007, the Housing Bubble burst and kicked off the Great Recession. Two years, later Harley-Davidson pulled the plug on Buell Motorcycles. A lot can happen in ten years. 

“Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man on a Goldwing to enter the kingdom of God – especially if his wife is on back with a  bag of Cheetos.”