I think I have blocked some of my more embarrassing crashes out; the older you get, the more you’ll appreciate selective memory. And I apologize to both of my long-time readers who’ve read about all these get-offs at least once before. I’ve always rationalized my crashes by saying at least I’ll get a good story out of each one, and I always hope that by sharing I might help others not do the same stupid thing. Also, crashes off of paved surfaces don’t really count unless they’re truly spectacular; the WWW doesn’t have enough room for all my off-road mishaps. I only regret that most of my greatest hits happened before everybody carried a camera to document them for posterity; the photos that do exist are mostly on slides mouldering away in various photographers’ archives.

  • Mahatma

    @8:How the hell did you manage to crash that?!Ingenius award in the mail.
    @6:You were doing it a favour.Never was there a more wretched bike in history!Both design-wise,and every other -wise;)
    @5:Bad man.Bad man!
    @2:Atleast it wasn’t turn 3;)
    @1:We’ve all been there man.

    Thanks for sharing.Homework:Scuff both footpegs in round abouts;)

  • Old MOron

    Nice retrospective.
    Maybe MO could parlay this into a regular feature for Evans!

    • Mahatma

      Maybe hope not…

      • Old MOron

        Yeah, I hope not, too. I was just making a little joke because Evans seem to crash the most out of all the MOronic editors. At least he fesses up the most :-)

        And for the record, I’ve had my share of crashes.

        • Mahatma

          I like people fessing up:)

  • Born to Ride

    “Don’t let anybody ram your front wheel.”
    Words to live by. Thanks John.

  • JMDonald

    If your not crashing your not trying. Well done Mr. Burns.

  • Alexander Pityuk

    It’s a lot more difficult to crash with the abundance of electronics nowadays. But will one be able to do 10+ crashes at contemporary speeds and live to tell the tale?

  • SRMark

    Not much fun for you but a fun read. Thanks

  • JerryMander

    Any crash you walk away from where your dick doesn’t come out in public is a good one.

    • john burns

      sounds like that’s happened to you?

      • JerryMander

        Yeah but the motorcycle crash and the inadvertent free balling were separate incidents

        • JerryMander

          Although I’ll add that you could pretty easily accomplish this by riding in commando dress slacks.

  • Maximus Power Sherman

    Didn’t you crash the Roadog? Seems like that would have been significant, kind of like adding your own scribbles to an original Dali.

    • john burns

      one I blocked out. Actually didn’t crash it, just ran off into the grass and came to rest at about a 45-deg. angle…

  • Racing Enthusiast

    Vaguely remember the SRAD one – something about “Someone passing you on the outside, then too little gravity followed by too much gravity…?

    Then there’s this one:

  • Starmag

    I love the enthusiasm.

    Burns and Crashes or Crashes and Burns?

  • James Stewart

    John John John – you never buy bikes new – you buy your almost new 500 Interceptor used – from a Houston Cop whose wife just got pregnant. Then all his buds from the local PoPo substation flash their lights and siren at you when you’re hooniganing around the Hood – because they think it’s him. And when word get around that it’s not him – you move to Austin. Problem solved!

  • Mark Dickinson

    John… Thanks for the laughs! And words of wisdom. :) I so wish could have seen some of these on youTube… oh well. Lol