10. Airhawk and Gel seats

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The colonoscopy was actually pain-free and not even totally unenjoyable; I haven’t had so many ladies paying such close attention to my backside since the disco era. Okay, I never did. Amazingly, none of them had ever heard the Eddie Murphy classic, Boogie in Your Butt. You know colorectal cancer is the second most deadly one after lung cancer, don’t you? I decided to get my chute inspected a couple years ago on another MO ride. We were comparing notes in Bishop, California, when a nice woman at the bar turned out to be a nurse who somehow steered the conversation in that direction. You know you’re getting up there when that’s what you talk about with women in bars.

I’ve never ridden on an Airhawk, but I know a few riders who love theirs. I have ridden on an OEM optional gel seat or three, and they’ve always felt well worth the money to my delicate undercarriage. Then there’s the heated seat, the turning on of which on a cold morning is one of life’s top three sensory pleasures.