Top 10 Funniest Biker Movie Quotes

Tom Roderick
by Tom Roderick

For every poignant motorcycle movie there exists at least 10 poorly scripted, low-budget alternatives. But whether big-budget or low-budget, money can’t buy funny. With that in mind, we selected some of the best gut chucklers we could find from both the profound and the shallowest of biker films. As with any good Top 10 the laughs get better as the numbers decrease. But if you’ve a funnier biker film quote than what we’ve compiled here we’d love to hear it.

10. Chopper Chicks in Zombietown

Rox: “You’re the Sluts! Try and act like it!”

9. Faster

Wayne Rainey (on Max Biaggi’s contention with Valentino Rossi): “Oh, it’s not a rivalry at all. I haven’t seen Biaggi win anything.”

8. Torque

Trey: “Heard you wuz up in Indochina eatin’ sushi ‘n’ shit.”
Junior: “I thought sushi came from Japan?”
Trey: “I know where sushi come from, ni**a, I ain’t even talkin’ to you!”

7. Roadside Prophets

Casper: “So what do you guys do?”
Sam: “We ride.”
Casper: “Outlaws, huh?”
Sam: “Yep. What about you?”
Casper: “Me? I’m symbionese.”

6. World’s Fastest Indian

Burt: “What’s your name young man?”
Mike: “McFarlane, Mike McFarlane.”
Burt: “I knew a McFarlane. He used to sell milking machines in Timaru. You must be related to him because he was a total prick.”

5. Wild Hogs

Doug Madsen: “Oh boy, my ass is sore.”
Dudley Frank: “Mine too. It’s Woody’s fault for riding us so hard yesterday. The human body wasn’t made to straddle something that big for that long.”

4. Stone Cold

Chains: “This reminds me of my father’s last words: ‘Don’t son, that gun is loaded!’”

3. Easy Rider

George Hanson: Here’s to the first of the day, fellas. To old D.H. Lawrence. [Takes a swig from a bottle of Jim Beam and starts flapping one arm.] Yeeeaaahh! Neh, neh, neh. Fuh, fuh, fuh. Indians.”

2. Electra Glide in Blue

Sgt. Ryker: “Ten-Hut! Good morning, you fascists. You pigs. You bigots. You Pinkos. You F*gs. You Bastards. Fuzz. This indoctrination of vocal harassment was compiled by our own Juvenile Division in preparation for the concert this weekend.”

1. Long Way Round

Ewan McGregor: “I said, ‘Eve, I want you to look after my wedding ring while I’m away,’ and she started to cry and I said, ‘Eve, Eve, I can’t wear my ring or I won’t get laid on the trip.’”

Tom Roderick
Tom Roderick

A former staffer who has gone on to greener pastures, Tom Roderick still can't get the motorcycle bug out of his system. And honestly, we still miss having him around. Tom is now a regular freelance writer and tester for when his schedule allows, and his experience, riding ability, writing talent, and quick wit are still a joy to have – even if we don't get to experience it as much as we used to.

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2 of 7 comments
  • D-Mac D-Mac on Mar 06, 2014

    What about "Burn rubber not your soul" from Biker Boyz

  • John John on Dec 25, 2014

    Some funny quotes, and as they are quotes "nigga" and "fag" should have been quoted properly, not edited to look politically correct in this time of the twattering masses insisting on such self censorship!