#GabeEts-hokin

The different takes on cruiserdom was in full effect in the early 2000s, with the custom chopper scene getting most of the attention. However, the muscle cruiser crowd was also well represented with seemingly every cruiser manufacturer getting on board the bandwagon, stuffing big V-Twins into whatever they could. Honda’s big Twin was a 1,795cc, liquid-cooled stump puller first found in the VTX 1800 for model year 2000. Five years later we had this, the Honda VTX1800F. Same 1800cc V-Twin, this time wrapped in more muscular gym clothes capped with tribal graphics. You know, to really intimidate those other posers at the coffee shop. Despite its brawny appearance, however, the VTX1800F was actually a softy at heart. Sort of. As Gabe Ets-Hokin describes in his review below, it does all the things you expect from a big cruiser, but it definitely isn’t for the novice rider. For more pics of the 2005 Honda VTX1800F, be sure to click on the photo gallery.

“Motorcycle fatalities are not only our No. 1 source of organs, they are also the highest-quality source of organs, because donors are usually young, healthy people with no other traumatic injuries to the body, except to the head… [a mandatory motorcycle helmet law] could put us out of business – or at least the business of organ transplants.”

Kymco may be best known for its scooter lineup, but the Taiwanese company has had a small displacement motorcycles come and go from its model choices through the years. One example is this, the 2005 Kymco Venox, as reviewed by former staffer and current MO columnist, Gabe Ets-Hokin. In a beginner motorcycle field littered with sporty bikes, cruisers for the newbie set were hard to come by. Honda’s Rebel, Yamaha’s Virago 250 and Suzuki’s GZ250 were your main options. Then there was Venox. Unlike the Japanese bikes, the Taiwanese beginner cruiser was a better fit for larger riders, or those simply desiring a motorcycle with a bit more heft. As for its actual riding dynamics, here’s Gabe to fill you in. As always, for more pics of the Venox, be sure to visit the photo gallery. 

If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.
—Charles Dickens

If there was one piece of advice that you’d think was universal to all motorcyclists, whether they’re riding dirtbikes, sportbikes, cruisers, tourers or ice racing in Wisconsin in January (as the MO crew once did), it’s this: don’t put a car tire on a motorcycle. This advice is so natural-seeming, so obvious, that I don’t think I’ve ever had to actually type that phrase before, so I’m going to do it again, because it’s so much fun:

Used to be, there was no such thing as a “sport-tourer.” It’s kind of a silly concept, if you think about it – take the biggest, slowest, worst-handling sort of bike and combine it with the smallest, fastest, best-handling. It’s like crossing an F-18 with the Goodyear Blimp, and nobody will be happy.

It must be intimidating to be a new rider these days. There’s a vast array of choices – not just of motorcycles, but of riding styles and communities to join – and there’s also an unending cacophony of advice from websites, chatrooms and social media, along with growing pressure to do things perfectly to avoid online ridicule.

If Richard La Plante wanted to build a perfect customer for his “ear movie,” the podcast/ radio play/audiobook Hog Fever, he would probably look a lot like me – middle-aged, neurotic, and a passionate lover of riding who also enjoys listening to podcasts and audiobooks in his spare time. I don’t know if that describes you, but if it does, you should read this.

Your regular Skidmarks Correspondent, Gabe Ets-Hokin, is on an extended leave pending official investigation into the true meaning of his last column. We have provided the following roundup of this week’s motorcycle news highlights in place of his regular writing.

“Narcissism and self-deception are survival mechanisms without which many of us might just jump off a bridge.” —Todd Solondz

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines.

During the middle years of the start of the new millennium the Supermotard craze made a resurgence, and no company jumped on the craze more so than KTM. Ducati may have brought the Hypermotard to market, but KTM brought a whole host of SM models to the masses, including the outlandish 950 Supermoto. In 2006, Gabe Ets-Hokin  wanted to see what the mega-moto craze was all about. Here, he takes the 950 for a quick spin to see just how much trouble he can get himself into. He somehow manages not to land himself in jail, and all the while he extols the virtues of riding a big motard. The gist? They are insanely fun, but a big threat to your driver’s license. See what he has to say below, and be sure to look at the photo gallery for more 950 Supermoto images.

Recently, we pit the Star Bolt C-Spec against the Suzuki Boulevard M50, in a comparison test. That test was really more an examination of two extremes of cruiserdom rather than a true head-to-head comparison. I bring this up because, as I type this, the Suzuki is currently resting at my abode. I thought nothing of it until I started digging for this week’s Church feature. As you can see from the headline, today’s retrospective is… the 2005 Suzuki M50 Boulevard! So, what has Suzuki done to the M50 in the decade since we first rode one? Not a whole lot, really. Other than a price hike from $6749 to $8599 (which is still pretty affordable, in our opinion), the Suzuki mid-size “muscle” cruiser is pretty much the same. And with that, here’s Gabe Ets-Hokin to describe exactly what that means. Also, don’t forget to visit the photo gallery for even more pics of Gabe and the pocket-size Suzuki.

Last column, Skidmarks – (Excelsior-Henderson) X Factor, I related the curious case of die-hard Excelsior-Henderson fans, men and women who love their motorcycles and loyally keep them running, year after year. I chatted with a few of them to get an idea of why they liked the big V-Twins so much. Performance, handling and style came up, along with that amorphous quality we all desire but can’t easily define: soul.

Cause the players gonna play, play, play
And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate
Baby I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake
Shake it off
—Taylor Swift, “Shake it Off”