#GabeEts-hokin

Let’s be honest: these Church of MO features have largely become reposts of Gabe Ets-Hokin stories. Not that there’s anything wrong with that; Gabe’s a great guy and an even better writer (it takes talent to make a jacket review hilarious!). As they say, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, and so we bring to you today another Gabe story from the MO archives. This one a travel piece in one of the planet’s most lovely places, Tuscany, aboard an ideal travel companion: the 2006 Vespa GTS250ie. 

I don’t want to look at other people my age in leather. Why would I put it on?
—George Michael

“Figures often beguile me… particularly when I have the arranging of them myself; in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: ‘There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.'”

If American, European or Japanese cruisers don’t hit the mark for you, there aren’t very many avenues left to turn down. However, one can still look towards Korea. As Gabe Ets-Hokin notes in his review of the 2007 Hyosung Avitar, the 650cc V-Twin borrowed from the company’s GT650 sporty bike sees some minor changes and is housed in a twin-spar frame that looks to be inspired by the Harley V-Rod. If you’re interested in the Hyosung, the bike is still around today, only its name has been changed to GV650/Aquila Pro. And it’ll set you back a reasonable $7000. As for the riding impressions, see Gabe’s take below. To see more pictures, be sure to visit the photo gallery.

“Superman don’t need no seat belt.”

In light of the new Yamaha FZ-10 I rode a few days ago, let’s travel back 10 years to the intro of the 10’s predecessor: the FZ1. It, too, was a more comfortable version of the built-for-the-track R1, but in stark contrast to the new FZ-10 it’s styling can only be considered bland by comparison. Styled more for the gentlemanly set, it’s a bit strange Gabe Ets-Hokin was the one who got to ride this bike at the intro (zing!). Nonetheless, the FZ1 holds a soft spot in many rider’s hearts for being more than just a naked R1 with a handlebar – it’s a comfortable long-distance machine that can also handle the bends. Here’s Gabe to tell you more.

“If you want a thing done well, do it yourself.”

“Before I got married I had six theories about raising children; now, I have six children and no theories.”

Here in ‘Murica, where MO’s editorial staff is based, tomorrow is Memorial Day, where we pay our respects to those who gave their life in the armed forces protecting this country. So for this week’s Church feature we’re going all-American and paying our respects to Buell Motorcycles, the motorcycle company parent company Harley-Davidson killed once the recession was at its height. Specifically, we’re featuring the 2007 Buell model lineup press launch. Fortunately for us, company founder Erik Buell has resurrected himself with EBR, though many still hold the Harley-powered Buells in high regard. Penning the words for this story is none other than Gabe Ets-Hokin, a quirky human perfect for writing about quirky motorcycles. To see more pics, check out the photo gallery.

If you wear the same pair of pants for weeks, months or maybe even years without washing them, they become so saturated with the oils from your skin that they become a whole other kind of material, one that has unique waterproof characteristics. The downside is your pants also develop a unique smell that’s familiar to you if you use the free internet terminals in a big-city library, where a guy is searching for evidence that the government agency beaming radio signals into his brain also kidnapped the keyboard player from the early-’80s funk group Dazz Band and replaced him with a robot.*

“Eh,” the trauma surgeon said as he tossed my $200, CE-approved back protector aside like it was a toy, “it probably wouldn’t have done much.”

Some of us just have to win. Some of us, not so much.

Who crams a V-Twin into a dirtbike frame, anyway?! Aprilia, that’s who, and in 2005 it just happened to cram a highly oversquare 77-degree V-Twin into not one, but two(!) different models: the SXV supermoto, and the RXV enduro model. As if that wasn’t audacious enough, Aprilia even made each bike in two engine sizes: 450 and 550. Personally, I remember lusting after the SXV when it launched, dreams of sliding back tires happily floating through my mind. As the years wore on that lust slowly faded as I learned that the bike needed constant attention and upkeep wasn’t cheap. Still, I’d love to flog one around for a day… and then give it back to someone else. Here, let’s jump back in time and let then Senior Editor and current MO contributor Gabe Ets-Hokin, and MO’s beloved former staff photog, Alfonse Palaima, tell you how both bikes perform. Of course, there are tons more pics. Visit the photo gallery to see them.  

Did you see the 1965 film Flight of the Phoenix? It’s the adventures of a group of oil workers who crash their cargo plane in the Libyan desert. To fly to safety, they build another plane from the wreckage. It’s a good flick, and pretty realistic — famed stunt pilot Paul Mantz died during filming. Any gearhead will identify with the struggle to build something just good enough to barely get the job done.

How do you tell your motorcycle story?