1997 Open Bikini Shootout

Do You Need A Mistress?


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Santa Ysabel

Santa Ysabel Valley northeast of San Diego is the center of ranchlands that include thousands of miles of (mostly) clean, twisty asphalt, with some wide open stretches thrown in for good measure.

This is a land of rugged beauty and plenty of cows, with four-wheeled motorcyclist killers infrequently showing to spoil the fun. This is also the site of the T509's demise. During a top gear roll-on test on the road shown above, it suffered valve train failure and had to be trucked back to L.A. Ultimately, this proved to be our most telling proving ground for the Bikinis.

A sporting ride along these backroads is good for the soul. Bend the Speed Triple into a corner, and all else fades from view.

Ducati Monster's softly-sprung ride allowed it to drag hard parts you'd rather not.

Malibu Canyon

Shawn Higbee walks into the Motorcycle Online offices one fine morning and exclaims, "I found a killer spot to take photos. It's only open to local traffic, so the chances for getting run over are slim."

After following the racing madman up some twisted backroads above Malibu Beach, we became convinced he was trying to lose us so we couldn't find our way back here again.

A butterfly joins Shawn for some corner-carving fun aboard the White Lightning.

After all, a pro racer's training grounds are sacred places.

Though we could see the outskirts of Santa Monica in the distance, we had no idea how we came to this place, and Higbee wasn't talking -- just ridin'.


The Bikini Babe:

When the Open Bikini Shootout was proposed a few months ago, we instantly had a picture in our dirty little minds how the homepage should look for such a comparo. After all, how can you have an Open Bikini Shootout without an, umm, open bikini?

Another Gratuitous Motorcycle Online Flesh-O-Rama

Proposals are one thing, finding just the right chest to sport the open bikini was quite another. Being the computer geeks we are, we don't know many women (except the kind that kicks our asses at the dragstrip). So the search was on. We located our bikini babe a scant two weeks before the story was posted (and almost a week after the Triumph blew up) at (what else?) a bikini contest in Hollywood. So give thanks to our babe, otherwise you'd be reading another "Roadster Shootout," "Hooligan Duel," "Neo-Standard Hell-Raising Slaughterhouse," or some other similarly cliched drivel...

"So boys, what do you want me to do?"

"Umm... er...."



"How about if I lean over the bike like this?"

"Marry me."

"Look, I'm going to need some help if you want to get any good pictures. Is it okay if I untie my top?"

"That should be alright, what to you think Mark?"

"Yes, that would be acceptable."

"That's it!"

"There's our Homepage!"


Manufacturer: Mom/Dad/Dow Corning Model: Blonde Babe Year: She wouldn't say Engine: Big Twin Bore and Stroke: "It says 'stroke'" Displacement: Curvy Carburetion: Naturally aspirated Transmission: No Seat Height: 32 in (36 in pumps) Fuel Capacity: We don't kiss and tell Claimed Dry Weight: 105 lbs Measured Wet Weight, Tank Full: 121 lbs Measured Horsepower, At The Rear: Yes Measured Torque, At The Rear: Ditto

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