#tomfoolery

Thanks to daddy-to-be editor, Troy Siahaan, and his 2015 $100-$200 Holiday Gift Guide I managed to score the perfect Christmas gift for my three-year-old nephew, Braxton – the 6V BMW R1200GS by RollPlay at Target for about $100. The BMW S1000RR by Ride-On at Wal-Mart may have been an even cooler toy, but at nearly double the price it surpassed the generosity my meager moto-journalist salary can afford. Besides, Braxton’s three and his understanding of what’s cool is derived from what I tell him is cool. I’m also hopeful the GS will be more durable than the double R when it comes to the type of playing a three-year-old boy meters out.

Comfortable shoes. It’s the foremost important aspect of enjoying any large consumer or trade show. Comfortable Shoe Editor, Troy Siahaan, and I had this exact conversation the morning of attending media day at Long Beach IMS. We both rode to the show, but whereas he brought sneakers to change into, I put a new pair of Bates Adrenalin Riding Boots to the ultimate comfort test by wearing them all day during the show (the most comfortable riding boots I’ve ever owned, I might add – full review coming soon).

From unawares of MotoGP’s existence when we first met to near religious devoutness now, my wife, Maria, has become a verifiable MotoGP junkie. She knows the racer’s names, what bikes they ride, teams they ride for, tracks they ride at, and the countries hosting the rounds. Unsurprisingly, she’s enamored with the charismatic, nine-time world champion, Valentino Rossi. The curly light brown hair, blue eyes, adorable accent, charisma, intellect, racing talent, win record, fame, riches all conspire to send her heart aflutter. His finishing position oftentimes dictates how good or bad a Sunday afternoon I’m going to have. And then Sepang happened and she’s been in a tailspin ever since.

Outer space carries no sound. If George Lucas hadn’t bent interstellar rules and added sound effects, Star Wars would cease to be a sci-fi masterpiece. Imagine a silently exploding Death Star with a subtitled “Bang!,” Han Solo mouthing “pwew, pwew, pwew” for the Millennium Falcon’s laser guns, and TIE Fighters screaming by without making whatever that super cool sound is they make.

I hate being the nihilistic voice of MO, but when it comes to the state of American talent at world-level motorcycle road racing, we’re f*#ked. If the swirling rumors of Nicky Hayden’s departure from MotoGP come to pass, it’ll be the first time since 1977 America’s been absent from competing at the world’s highest level of two-wheel racing. Truly sad – especially considering the U.S. hosts two MotoGP rounds.

When it comes to sportbike performance I’ve always advocated for lighter weight over higher horsepower. A few recent events have augmented exactly why concentrating on weight reduction is time and money better spent than on increasing power production.

Andrew Capone, in his Top 5 Storylines For The 2015 Isle Of Man TT article, poses two significant topics: 1) How far are we from ‘Peak Speed?’ and 2) Will electric racing motorcycles finally capture our fancy?

The month of National Motorcycle Safety Awareness got underway last Friday, and according to a quick internet search, we’re off to an abjectly horrible start to the riding season. After typing “motorcycle crash May 2015” into Google, my browser looked like this:

My wife, Maria, loves going on motorcycle rides. Our second date was a motorcycle ride where she proved herself a fearless, adrenalin junkie. We hadn’t been on a ride together for a while, so last Saturday, we pulled the 2015 FZ-09 outta the garage and went for a spin around SoCal.

How many MotoGP/500cc World Champions open their homes to a group of our ilk I’m not sure, but Kevin Schwantz didn’t seem to mind. The catered BBQ at his crib was the ending highlight of the 2015 Suzuki GSX-S750 press launch. For a 22 year-old new to motorcycling and the spectacle that is Grand Prix motorcycle racing, you were born the same year Kevin Schwantz won the 500cc World Championship.

Not to disparage India’s Border Security Force (BSF) or the country’s national bird, but what is this peacockery? In news reports of Barack Obama attending India’s annual Republic Day parade, I repeatedly heard or read terminology such as “daredevil stunts,” and “dare-devilish manoeuvres.” These descriptions were in regards to the motorcycle performances during the parade by the Janbaz that can more appropriately be described as an elaborately dressed motorcycle drill team demonstration.

Did ya check out our 2014 Holiday Gift Guide? It’s chock full of functional gift suggestions for adult motorcyclists. You know what it doesn’t have? A single motorcycle toy! What the hell is wrong us? Editors Scrooge and Grinch must be responsible for excluding the youth demographic.

On weekdays, when the canyons are devoid of weekend road warriors, our bike testing, photo and video shoots take place. Because we maintain the same weekly, nine-to-five grind as most worker bee motorcyclists, rarely do we cross paths with the average enthusiast out for a Sunday ride.

Any California motorcyclist who’s suffered a lane-splitting accident in the last few months should consider consulting an attorney regarding any legal standing you may have to sue Mr. Kenneth Mandler. Why? Because it was him and his sanctimonious indignation that forced the CHP to retract its Lane-Splitting Guidelines – a safe riding tip sheet that may have helped riders avoid crashing or minimize potential injuries while lane-splitting had it been available.

I’m writing this from inside an Airbus 380 en route to Montreal, Quebec, Canada to ride Can-Am’s newest Spyder, the F3. According to EiC, Kevin Duke, in his recent editorial, the Spyder isn’t a true motorcycle, yet he assigned me this task (such is the prerogative of being Chief). Having never been to Montreal, I readily accepted, but also made it abundantly clear in my response email to him that I do not want to become MO’s trike editor.