Scooter Trash

Motorcycle.com Staff
by Motorcycle.com Staff
Heh, this one's been sitting around for a while, and we couldn't source pictures from madmotomike, so here's the original, unedited piece in all it's glory. It starts out normal and gets wrong from there, be sure to "Read More" for the rest. Looks like MO's found yet another goofball contributor! --MO

madmotomike writes:

Just when you think that maybe ....just maybe you have seen it all or done it all


along comes H.A. Dean and his new aprilla scooter. it all happened today. and let me tell you......some kind of day it was! sort of like when moses was praying on the mountain and started talking to that burning bush! H A . insisted that i ride his new acquisition. the scooter in question is a big one. it features a 500 cc motor and 15 inch wheels. the rider accomadations are simply marvelous with alot of detailing and high tech toys like a lap timer , thermometer, trip computer, tv, GPS, etc. it is really a neat device. did i mention that it is fast ...i saw 80 mph pretty quick!



i went for a ride. i approached the opprotunity with more than a little apprehension. this was due to my experiance on h a's last scooter; a yamaha "big one". that scooter suffered such instability that my eyes wobble in the socket with the mere thought of riding it again. but that's another story..

the aprilla was great. powerful and comfortable..it was not long before i envisioned myself taking katie to school on one. it was smooth and relaxing and it was inocent. there is none of the stigma that stains the world of motorcyclcing. SCOOTERS ARE COOL..SCOOTERS ARE FUN!!

anyway i was enjoying my self imensely when i was forced to stop for the sign at the intersection of blue creek road. i had to wait befor turning left toward hwy258. a small honda civic passed by ...this car was your typical micro muscle car:abarth exhaust, wide wheels, roll cage, tach mounted on the dash, shift light, etc. it was driven by your typical young arrogant high school kid. he is going 50 mph ...

a crazy thought took root in the evil side of my brain.....you see i had noticed the "disdain" that he showed as he glanced at me (offended me becuase i forgot that i was riding a scooter...). he looked at me like i did not matter..he dismissed me as a scooter "geek".

it is not that kind of scooter!!!!!

this is "super" scooter !..................

i reallly could not help myself. i rolled the throttle open and begin the "stalk". he was totally relaxed in his world ; ignorant about the humiliation he was soon going to suffer..

i planned it perfectly.. i switched the headlite to low beam to make me look weaker and less conspicuous. i closed on the honda rod. slowly at first but then i gave my steed free rein and i took distance out of that micro car with a vengence that was almost "tiger" like!!

when i passed him with about 30 mph in hand; i swept by just inches from his rear veiw mirror! i was actually close enough to see that his radio was tuned to 105.5!!!!!!!!! loser!!!!!

once clear of the car i whipped that aprilla back across his bow and took a long hard satisfying look back at this fool!!! i grinned like a maniac and shook my head at him is humored contempt!

he had just been passed by a scooter!!! that must be the pinnacle of humiliation for a young muscle car driver with thousands and thousands of dollars invested!! what would his friends say??! how could he keep this a secret?!?! the shame..the horror! this is the kind of thing that can ruin a life or a reputation!!

there i was: scooter god!! in full flight with the throttle wide open.........opps passed another car... hey this thing is really quick! handles sharp too!!

i had a wild idea of taking it down to old maple hill road and "baiting " some sport bikes..! damn , a 90 mph scooter is a serious peice of kit!

the story does not end here.. as fate would have it ; we arrived at the stop sign at hwy 258 at the same time. i was turnig left. him to the right. he looked at me...he looked pale. he dropped the hammer on the little honda and it lurched out onto the road ; tires fighting for traction! guess he had to try to ease the pain. he caught second gear and the honda was spinning at some incrediable rpm . did not seem to be moving very quick... he went for third. he went for third...he went for third.. the rpm surged up ward to an impossiable level...then NOTHING!! SILENCE!! it was that real bad , real expensive kind of silance too!! my scooter and i turned left and returned to scooter headquarters at back roads triumph with one heck of a story to tell!!1

i thanked h a for the scooter ride and came away impressed with the sheer "fun" that i had. scooters are just a joy ...a simple unassuming joy! i gotta have one..


madmotomike

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