Praises and Lamentations of a Punk Kid Staff
by Staff
My dear MOrons,

The last time I wrote to you, I submitted a query about what tires I should buy for my '01 SVS.

Praises- To all the guys (I would say "and gals" or "people", but I consider the day I begin to be politically correct the day I cease to exist for any reason here on earth) out there who piped up with opinions, experiences and counsel of their own. I ended up buying the cheapest ones (they also piqued my curiousity, being new), the SuperMaxxes. I'm not regretting my decision yet, they seem to be quite sticky. Took 'em on a 846 mile road trip through the Ozarks through Branson and northern AK. I haven't scrubbed them all the way to the edges, but the pegs already scrape before that, and I suppose it's a good idea to not push 'em right to the stinky edge of traction when all I 've got for a highside net is barbed-wire and beech trees.

Stoppies are a fairly simple, butt on the seat affair now. I've got about 1,200 miles on 'em so far, and they don't show hardly any wear that I can tell. Shure wish a track day wasn't 10,000 bucks and 5 million miles away (damn you Californians!). Also, I'd like to give a big ebonics-type shout out to Mr. John Burns, who, although occaisionally chastised by some for tasting his own foot from time to time, has provided me with the knowledge that although hairy, feisty and short of temper, short people can still serve a purpose. Don't take this the wrong way, some of my best friends are vertically challenged. Really.

Lamentations (AKA Bitching)- I live in Kansas City, and they just built a multi-billion dollar OVAL track last year. Pardon my narrow-mindedness, but NASCAR is about as interesting to watch as a dog eating its own poop. Ok, maybe not THAT interesting. Hey, I know it takes hard work and crazy skills to get one of those things around a track THAT fast for THAT long (I actually used to be into it a little), but c'mon, I wanna real race track. Why can't the masses be exposed to some really exciting, sphincter-clenching races, like say for example, supermotard? Or Superbike? How about some IRL stuff? If ANYBODY thinks that watching a whole lotta cars go around in a circle for hours at a time is more intriguing than watching Aaron yates slide both ends around a corner while passing a lapper, or Don Canet backing his thumper into a hair pin like a cheap whore, they oughta get smacked upside the head with their own giant foam finger (Officially Licensed by NASCAR, of course).

One more thing. If any of you guys out there happen to have a retractable license plate on your bike, quit doing burnouts and wheelies in front of cops and running away from them. This is getting to be the thing with a certain group of guys up here in KC, and though they haven't got caught yet, they've pissed of the local pork so much that riders get pulled over a the drop of a hat (or clutch).
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