RoosterBoots

(From "The Incredibly Normal Adventures of RoosterBoots")

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Monday, November 16th

I checked in for surgery at 5:30 in the morning. It was still dark outside. For breakfast, I got needles. I paid in blood. Blood, blood and more blood...all collected in neat little tubes by a lab tech with shaky hands who looked like Ving Rhames.

Miz Roo hunkered down in a chair next to me, being brave while simultaneously trying to keep me out of trouble. Wearing nothing but a hospital gown, I was entertaining her with my impression of Peter O’Toole as Lawrence of Arabia when a nurse came in unannounced.

She returned a short time later with a doctor. They offered me something to make me relax. I was already pretty relaxed, but they insisted. It was two against one (three, if you count Miz Roo). They had a hypodermic. It was full of real...goooood.....stufff.

Monday, I think. It might still be Monday. People everywhere. Pain everywhere. Beeping everywhere. Oprah Winfrey is in my room, hovering on high like an avenging angel and casting gifts to the true believers. “Turn that off,” the doctor tells a nurse. He stands over my bed and asks me, “Do you know what day it is?”

“Yup!” I tell him.

“Well?”

“Well what?”

“I asked you what day it was,” he said, slightly amused.

“No you didn’t,” I answered.

“I certainly did.”

“No, you asked me if I knew what day it was, and I do.”

“Well?” he asked, less amused.

“Well, what?”

“What DAY is it?”

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The whole story is here. Sometimes the bike itself is the journey.

The_AirHawk

Don't ALL those Chinese Restaurants serve Cat Meat?

I had a fine meal at this little place one time, got a Fortune Cookie, opened it, and it said "That wasn't Chicken"........

__________________
Parfois, on fait pas semblant
Sometimes, it's not pretend
Oderint Dum Metuant
Let them hate so long as they fear
политики предпочитают безоружных крестьян
Politicians Prefer Unarmed Peasants
Nothing to see here, Citizen. Move along now...

RoosterBoots

Mine! This joke is MINE, now!!