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Old 11-02-2003, 06:31 PM   #1
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Default MV Agusta to Produce Limited Edition ATV

SCHIRANNA, Italy (Reuters) Officials at MV Agusta, Italy's renowned manufacturer of high-end, limited production motorcycles announced today they would begin production of an extremely high-end ATV aimed at the lucrative US market.

"This will be a product the likes of which the world has ever seen, especially not duck hunters" said Claudio Castalooney, Director of Special Projects and Expensive Lunches at MV anounced in a press conference.

The prototype machine is made of carved billet aluminum, carbon fiber and costs over $75,000. Features include a carbon fiber gun rack, billet beer can holder, and an exquisetly crafted 6 into 2 into 4 into 5 into 6 back to two into 834-5789, you can call me up and have a date, any old time into 7 into 1 into 6 exhaust system. The exhaust tips end in a rollcage portruding 2 feet over the riders head and play "Camptown Races" on downshifts.

The engine uses a special "cashodesmo" valve adjustment system which uses the direct action of the rider's credit card. This is said to be much more efficent than the older method of valve adjustments where the rider had to drop his machine off at a dealer, wait 6 weeks, and then use his credit card. More performance can be obtained by running the card through the reader at a faster pace. Liquid cooling keeps the card from melting.

Suspension is a ground-breaking double cradle wingbat ground hoogie afro-sheen mind bender overlink full floating with independent risers and a deer whistle.

Available colors will include titanium, matte black, flat black, velvet matte black, Matt Damon Black, Senna Racing, Rossi Red, or camoflage.

The vehicle will be available at dealers in the spring or summer or maybe winter of 2005 or 2007 or something, but will be preceded by thousands of pages of endless hype from motorcycle magazines before 110 of them are permanently stored in rich guy's garages, only to be seen at Pebble beach every 3 years. The vehicle will probably be a letdown, although some industry insiders say it will merely be a dissapointment.
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Old 11-02-2003, 06:47 PM   #2
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Default Re: MV Agusta to Produce Limited Edition ATV

I always look forward to your posts, Gabe. It's a sickness.

This ATV thing IS just a joke, right?
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Old 11-03-2003, 04:53 AM   #3
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Default Re: MV Agusta to Produce Limited Edition ATV

Thanks Man. Next time I'm in Rochester I'll be sure to poor a "40" in MR ALL CAPS tank. Does he like Camo? It's my fave.

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Old 11-03-2003, 09:13 AM   #4
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Default Re: Proton signs LOI with MV Agusta

Gabe, you may want to put that post in the historical (hysterical?) record, just so we can see how close you are to the eventual truth. Your post neglected to mention if they were going to have a flame arrestor on the ATV.

If nothing else, the press releases from PROTON will give the spellcheckers hernias. I mean, c'mon- "Putrajaya"? I thought Ouagadougou was bad.
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Old 01-30-2004, 07:21 AM   #5
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Default Re: Proton signs LOI with MV Agusta

'The Star' is a Malaysian newspaper. Surprising deal, considering Proton already has a motorcycle deal with Kenny Roberts ... sort of ...
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