Today’s Butchered Classic, from the Facebook group of the same name, is this ex-Honda CBX1000, thrashed to within an inch of its life by Bad Seeds Motorcycles of Japan. Wait, actually they are in France, which explains a lot. What was once a beautiful motorcycle and the apogee of Honda engineering circa 1980, is now a moldering mess of mismatched appendages that appear to have been rear-ended by a deep-South Senatorial candidate.
The swingarm appears to have come from some kind of earthmover; the too-big Öhlins dirtbike shocks look like they’re prepared to raise it for ships to sail under, and the whole ungainly upturned rear end carries on the nautical theme by looking like HMS Victory sailing away from the Battle of Trafalgar, badly shot up.
The piece de resistance of ratbuggery, though, has to be that Sportster gas tank, which fits the rest of the bike like a lead apron fits your choice of Kardashian. At least the torturous skinny clip-ons probably won’t allow enough leverage to steer into a massive deathwobble more than three or four times a mile, courtesy of grippy modern tires mated with a rickety old mild steel frame. And nobody who doesn’t live out of a shopping cart will be wanting to steal this CBX.
The six-cylinder looks magnificent, though, in all its finned, Keihin flat-slided glory, and I suppose it’s good someone, however detached from reality, is out riding the thing. Mind if we take it for a quick spin? Actually it’s not that bad. Wait, yes it is. I’d ride it though. You?