Motorcycle.com

Internet commenters are known to be rude, insulting, and sometimes downright nasty when they’re able to speak their mind behind the anonymity of a keyboard. We’re not immune to the nastiness of commenters, as our moto lives are plastered all over the world wide web, and with the amount of videos we’ve posted on YouTube, it’s only natural some viewers would spew their vitriol our way. So in this Top 10, I’m picking 10 of my favorite comments, insults and jabs. I’m keeping this list aimed at blows made in my direction, since, well, I don’t take any of these 10 hits personally. I find them quite funny, actually. Without further ado, here we go…

10. The Truth About Burritos

As much as I love motorcycles, I love food equally as much. Burritos, especially. I’m not a vegetarian (far from it, actually), but the idea of a veggie burrito tour on the new Victory Empulse TT seemed like a fun and different approach to an electric motorcycle test. I know I enjoyed the different takes on veggies wrapped in flour, and for the most part, YouTube viewers really liked the idea, the story and the video, too. Commenter George Montes wasn’t one of them. He writes:

You guys disappointed me on this one. There is no such thing as a Vegetarian Burrito, That’s just called “Salsa in a tortilla”

Touche, George.

9. Your Review Is Garbage

Our six-bike Superbike Shootout earlier this year was a massive effort from the MO team, and it proved to be a lot of fun despite the numerous headaches involved with the logistics and behind-the-scenes drama. We stand by our pick of the BMW S1000RR as the best overall bike in its class, but YT commenter fsteddy11 thinks otherwise:

BMW best bike of the year and cant win in wsbk! Sorry but your review is garbage. Kawi, Aprilia, Ducati always ranking in wsbk. I dont see BMW on the podium nor even ranking in top 10.

While there’s no problem expressing your opinion on the internet, fsteddy11 has fallen into a popular trap: believing the superbikes seen on the racing grid are the exact same motorcycles plucked off the showroom floor. Sorry, bud, but Kawi, Aprilia and Ducati, to use your examples, all field factory efforts (BMW does not) and spend a boatload of time, money and resources to put their motorcycles at the front of the World Superbike field. There’s hardly a single thing stock about them. World Superbikes are worlds apart from the six standard machines we tested. Thanks for playing.

8. Resisting the Urge To Curse

Viewer Chris Cope has had a lot of entertaining things to say in our videos, but this one, from our Midsize Post-Modern Cruiser Shootout was particularly chuckle-inducing to me. I genuinely enjoyed my time riding the Kawasaki Vulcan S, Harley-Davidson Street 750 and Honda CTX700N, but it appears my enthusiasm maybe didn’t shine through in the video. Here’s what Cope had to say:

Troy is trying so hard not to be too critical of the bikes. You can see he wants to use expletives.

No way, Chris. You’re f*ck!ng wrong!

7. Heaven Forbid You Visit Motorcycle.com!

This might come as a surprise to some of you, but Motorcycle.com existed long before YouTube. But, like any business, we need to adjust to the times and thus you now see us on YT. Still, we’re in the business of driving eyeballs to our main site, and YT is a great vessel for doing just that. Our method for driving eyes to MO, of course, is to leave a little teaser in our videos and withhold the winner of a particular test, as was the case in our More For Less shootout. Turns out commenter CycleCruza had had enough of our methods:

I think you guys make great reviews but I dislike when you always make us go to your website to find out what your conclusion is, you always leave us hanging on youtube. Just tell us who won here dagnabblit! FZ-09??!!

The replies to CycleCruza are really entertaining, as some people are on his side, others on ours. Read them when you get a chance. Sorry, CycleCruza, but there’s a high probability we’re going to leave you hanging in future videos. It’s not always our fault, either – sometimes we honestly don’t know a winner when we wrap a video!

6. The Winner Is The Highest Bidder

Here we go again. YouTuber jtdc86 seems to think all of our tests are already predetermined by the highest bidder, as evidenced by this reply to our Beginner-ish Sportbike Shootout:

There isn’t any better motorcycle. they all are good.. the winner is always going to be the brand who sponsor the reviewer.

Haven’t we already been over this? While we could all use a few extra dollars in our pockets, for the last time, no, we are not paid off by the manufacturers. In fact, Evans covers the topic pretty well in his Evans Off Camber editorial. Heaven forbid we actually pick the bike we think is the best.

5. Screw Electric!

It’s not surprising to hear an internet commenter spew out insults to someone on the other side of the screen, especially when the other person’s views challenge their own. This point is made perfectly clear by YouTube commenter Ramtin Kazemi after my interview with Zero’s Senior Battery Specialist, Luke Workman:

SCREW ELECTRIC… it’s all about MECHANICS. this smart ass is actually talking shit about a real motorcycle? LOL wow! dude please shut it! seriously. just because of you, i will never EVER buy an electric motorcycle.. specially a Zero… this hipster has a mouth on him i tell ya! lol WOW! i can’t believe this!

Granted, Luke’s predictions in the video are a little controversial, but it just goes to show how strongly some of us cling to our convictions. Relax, Ramtin. Motorcycling means different things to different people.

4. Sid The Sloth

The 2015 Yamaha YZF-R1 may be littered with the latest and greatest technology motorcycling has to offer, but opinions seem to be divided on its styling – it’s either hit or miss. Or, as Ryan Coveyduc points out, a little cartoonish:

Look at the bike head on. Then go watch Ice Age, and tell me the designer wasn’t enamored with Sid the Sloth before he picked up a pencil to sketch the bike.

I’ll admit, I had no idea who Sid the Sloth was. So I looked him up. You know, I think Coveyduc may have a point. What do you think?

3. Just Kill Me Now

Technically speaking, three-wheelers are classified as motorcycles in many parts of the country. That includes our home base of Southern California. So, as motorcycle reviewers, it was our job to test them in our Is This A Motorcycle Shootout. Nevermind that we really wanted to flog a Morgan 3 Wheeler, Polaris Slingshot and Can Am Spyder F3-S, we did this for the greater good of motorcycling. Clearly, YouTube viewer M AR was not amused:

We now live in a world that the average guy no longer can even change a tire. The manual transmission is dying and now these f*&#ing things are being called motorcycles??!?!

Just kill me now…

2. I Dislike Troy Way of Talking

It’s strange to consider myself a public figure, but as a motorcycle reviewer with his face plastered all over Motorcycle.com’s YouTube page, including in the Mega Motard Shootout between the Ducati Hypermotard and MV Agusta Rivale, I suppose that’s what I am. As a result, I leave myself wide open for criticism, like this one from Jorge Borbolla, who’s clearly a big fan of mine:

I dislike troy way of talking. In every review he’s like “these sport bikey-ish  motardy-ish sporty-ish little-ish bla bla bla”

Thanks, Jorge. I found your comment to be very funny-ish.

1. I Talk Like A What?!

Congratulations, Dan Martin. You get the top prize in the YouTube insult party with this simple, yet stinging comment from our comparison between the 2012 Yamaha YZF-R1 and 2011 Aprilia RSV4 R APRC:

Troy sounds like a girl

Five words was all it took to deliver a devastatingly hilarious blow. Your prize? Absolutely nothing. Thanks for the laughs all the same.