Motorcycle.com

50 Nuts

Music: 5 A Punk/Alternative Rock soundtrack. What a surprise! Chant along with me, "We want Yo Yo"!

Comedy: 7 Are you kidding me? These are grown-ish men riding around on monkee 50s. How can that not be hysterical?! Monkee 50s running rampant in a wide variety of places of business. A numbskull named Buzz seduces the object of his affection by running her over. A guy named Eryck (painfully) quests for a successful 360 horizontal spin accompanied by the theme from Rocky. Urban terrorism abounds in all of its rich and varied forms. A lecture in responsible behavior from Da Man is accompanied by dubbed-in farting noises. Oh, and then there is the profoundly graphic projectile vomit montage. Dennis Miller fans will not be laughing. South Park fans will laugh so hard they may just puke along.

T&A: 9 50 Nuts provides viewers with record amounts of fully exposed "T" for a hooligan vid. If you are an adult over the age of 18, this is a very good thing. And if you aren't, then it's even better.

Stunts: 5 Hey, I can't put noodling around on monkee 50's in a class with horizontal axis 360s, but if it can be done with a 50, you'll see it here. You get highbar jumping. lots of rhythm section dirt jumps, even a back flip off a vert ramp.

Crashes: 4 Hey, when you,re only doing about 10 mph a couple of inches off of the ground, how bad can you wreck? Well, a trip to the Ontario Ice Center skating rink served as the ultimate proof of that pudding. One dude face plants off of a two-foot ramp they brought and wrecks his entire face with a broken nose, split lip, lost teeth, and blood everywhere. Bravo lil, Einstein!

Overall: 7 Before the opening credits even finish rolling, we've got "T", "A", comedy, and assorted other 50 nuttiness. I coulda stopped there and been happy. The abundance of footage shot in my Santa Monica backyard makes this flick that much nearer and dearer to my heart as well. Owners of 50 Nuts will witness rampant hooliganism at its finest, but due to the preponderance of nudity and other graphic content, this vid is not really suitable as a Christmas present for your teenager's consumption. It is, however, the ideal gift to purchase for yourself and hide in the "secret spot" where you stash your porno mags that you know your teenager already knows about, so he can find it and geek out on all the debauchery without you feeling like a bad parent.

Higher Ground If you haven't seen what this looks like, it's going to blow your freaking mind.Music: 3 There's a metal soundtrack that flickers in from time to time, but this vid is really more documentary in nature with lots of voiceovers.

Comedy: 2 True, there is a tragi-comic clip of a guy who falls down and spills a cooler of beer, and we do get to watch the natural selection process at work as baby hillclimbers as young as 4 years old try to eliminate themselves from the gene pool. But lets face it, overall this is not a funny movie.

T&A: 1 There is none. Zip. Nil. Nada. I just gave them a "1" to be nice.

Stunts: 7 Let me put this in context. These guys take dirt bikes, extend the swingarm, add paddlewheel tires, and stuff bored out streetbike or snowmobile engines into them, and then launch themselves up 90 degree cliffs. If you haven't seen what this looks like, it's going to blow your freaking mind. As Robie Peterson, who runs a 1500cc H-D engine burning a 60% nitro, 40% methanol mix and turning out 200hp puts it, "If you can hang onto it, it'll take you up pretty much anything"!

Crashes: 9 I've got one word for you: "catchers". These guys use steel hooks tied onto a rope, which is anchored on top of the hill, to rescue bikes and riders before they pick up steam and tumble down the mountain. According to one of these dim bulbs, "Our job is to save money and hopefully body parts." He was obviously not referring to his own. Higher Ground serves up utterly amazing footage of catches, misses, and tumbles in which bikes, riders, catchers, dirt, and the occasional boulder all go avalanching down the hill together. I would strongly recommend popping a Vicodin and pounding a few shots of Wild Turkey before watching the wipeout section at the end.

Overall: 7 What started out in Billings, MO in the 1920's has now evolved into a sport that really has to be seen to be believed. In addition to the action footage, the flick offers interviews with champion riders such as Travis Whitlock, Dusty Beers, Robie Peterson, Brandon Whitlock and 38 year old Mel Kimball. The setup of their bikes are also discussed in some detail. All of this combines with the mind-blowing action footage to provide an excellent overview of a truly amazing corner of the motorcycle universe.