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Old 03-29-2007, 08:14 AM   #31
Gritboy
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Default Re: The Web as a Source of Reliable Motorcycling Misinformation

A Mach 10 mounted in the back fender to look like a third exhaust port would do the trick. Aside from that, carrying around a bacpack mounted LAWS would suffice in making sure man AND machine never were seen again. Of course I'm in favor of focused neutron pistols too... that way you could sell your assailant's car for salvage and make a profit from the whole sordid event. *grin*
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Old 03-29-2007, 08:51 AM   #32
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Default Re: The Web as a Source of Reliable Motorcycling Misinformation

It is a jungle out there. In order to protect yourself from a raging cager I advise you keep a tankbag full of rabid squirrels. Here are some suggestions that could theoretically keep you alive:



1. When selecting a rabid squirrel for motorcycle carry choose only the most vicious and rabid you can find. For instance, if it attacks your crotch then it shows the proper amount of motivation.



2. Red Squirrels at higher velocity may be easier to keep on target. Grey Squirrels, however, offer considerably more knock-down power.



3. Practice- It takes a good bit of practice to fish out a squirrel and fling it through the sunroof of the target vehicle. It helps to find a parking lot full of SUVs to practice on. Consider leaving rabid squirrels in the vehicles as preventing road rage/global warming in the first place.



4. Remember to fling the squirrel on the DRIVER, NOT THE VEHICLE. It does you no good if Chippy gets sucked under the wheels of the car. Hesitation can be a costly mistake. For instance, don't leave the tankbag open or your crotch will be simultaneously attacked by a dozen tree demons. Also, if you hesitate at the moment of release the squirrel will scurry up your arm and attack your face. This will impede your vision and may lead to loss of control of the vehicle.



Finally, keep the last squirrel for yourself. It is a jungle out there.
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Old 03-29-2007, 09:14 AM   #33
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Default Re: The Web as a Source of Reliable Motorcycling Misinformation

I have, and I can tell you right now, they know everything.
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Old 03-29-2007, 09:18 AM   #34
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Default Re: The Web as a Source of Reliable Motorcycling Misinformation

Let's just say that she only paid 450 bucks for what the insurance company probably would have forked out up to 3000.
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Old 03-29-2007, 09:54 AM   #35
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Default Re: The Web as a Source of Reliable Motorcycling Misinformation

Nothing puts the Fear of The Gods into a speeding soccer-mom like the sight of a double-bit War Axe smashing through their windshield..........
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Old 03-29-2007, 09:59 AM   #36
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Default Re: The Web as a Source of Reliable Motorcycling Misinformation

"You only threw six squirrels - you didn't take-down that last SUV!"



"The Seventh Squirrel is for Evil!"





From: [i]The Legend of the Golden Fuzzy-tailed Rat
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Parfois, on fait pas semblant
Sometimes, it's not pretend
Oderint Dum Metuant
Let them hate so long as they fear
политики предпочитают безоружных крестьян
Politicians Prefer Unarmed Peasants
Nothing to see here, Citizen. Move along now...
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Old 03-29-2007, 11:11 AM   #37
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Default Re: The Web as a Source of Reliable Motorcycling Misinformation

"What is best in life is to crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women." So sayeth The Governator.
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Old 03-29-2007, 02:02 PM   #38
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Default Re: The Web as a Source of Reliable Motorcycling Misinformation

I thought Bellingham was filled with old hippies and college students? Should I be thinking a bit more south like Granite Falls perhaps?
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Old 03-29-2007, 02:47 PM   #39
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Default Re: The Web as a Source of Reliable Motorcycling Misinformation

Must be what the squid Majored in, huh?
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Parfois, on fait pas semblant
Sometimes, it's not pretend
Oderint Dum Metuant
Let them hate so long as they fear
политики предпочитают безоружных крестьян
Politicians Prefer Unarmed Peasants
Nothing to see here, Citizen. Move along now...
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Old 03-30-2007, 01:41 AM   #40
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Default Re: The Web as a Source of Reliable Motorcycling Misinformation

Too much like work.

Loud Pipes Saves Lives



Rev the sucka 'til you find the harmonic that disintegrates the glass.*



*Does not apply to H-D riders. Potato-potato ain't gonna git-er-done.
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