Motorcycle.com

seruzawa · 04-04-2010, 05:31 PM

Slogging through this crap so you don't have to.

This week's motorcycle movie "treat" is 60's schlock "The Mini-Skirt Mob". Motorcycle movies are never story heavy and the MSM is no exception. The plot is simply this: Cowboy Superstar Jeff Logan (we know this because it says so on his 15 ft trailer) marries Connie The Whiner. Ex-girlfriend Shayne (Jeff's not Connie's, this isn't that kind of movie) is pissed and gets her doormat boyfriend Lon and the rest of her "mob" to harass and terrify the couple. That's it.

The cast includes people who actually had careers in the movies that extended years beyond this turkey. Jeremy Slate (Lon), Ross Hagen (Jeff), Patty McCormack (Shayne's Sizzling Sister Edie who also sings the title song), Sherry Jackson and Harry Dean Stanton!! There are 3 other mob members who don't have much to do.

The movie is far more entertaining than was intended. Yep, this movie sports a biker gang of roaring Honda CB&CL160s! It also gives interesting lessons like-

1-Why you don't ride between a trailer and the cliff on a mountain road while harassing the driver and his wife.
2-Riding a motorcycle at about 25mph about 2 feet away from someone will cause them to fly into air to the side.
3-You can make Molotov ****tails with the gas in your bike's tank and empty beer bottles.
4-Griffith Park is in Arizona.
5-People turn into mannequins when they fall off of cliffs.
6-A Winchester 30-06 bolt action rifle can shoot 25 rounds without reloading.
7- If you hit someone who is traveling at 20 mph on a bike with a stick he will fall off, but as he falls he will take his shirt and jacket off and put them back on backwards.

This movie is strictly PG. But would make an excellent MST3K subject.

Ross Hagen IS Jeff Logan, Champion Rodeo Star!

This is how we know he's Champion!

Jeremy Slate IS Lon, Shayne's poosywhipped doormat and the 2nd best Rodeo Star. If he kills Ross he'll be the best! This has to be explained to him.

Sherry Jackson IS Connie the Whiner. Seriously you have never seen anyone complain so much. "Why don't you do something?" "Because they have a rifle and I don't you stupid bytch!"

Diane McBain IS Shayne The Jilted Girlfriend. This lady has serious jealousy issues.

Harry Dean Stanton IS Spook, the Stupid Hick. His performance makes Jimm Carrey look like a genius.

Patty McCormack IS Edie, the Sizzling Sister.

Hot 160s!!!

These guys know how to partay!! Turn up that Dean Martin song will ya?

Disposable Lackey TJ... I don't think that is a good idea, TJ!

Told ya so, TJ!

Edie Sizzles!

Lon puts his shirt on backwards.

mugwump58 · 04-04-2010, 07:06 PM

Thank you Sir. Your sacrifice is greatly appreciated. I wonder though, how you made it through all that.

The_AirHawk · 04-04-2010, 08:14 PM

It's like you threw yourself on a Grenade to save your Troops; only to discover it was just one of those ladyfinger-firecrackers, inside a cheap, Chinese-made plastic POS that's only made to LOOK like a Grenade.........

(but DAMN those ladyfinger's are loud sumbiotches, eh?)

A Star Ride · 04-04-2010, 08:25 PM

LMFAO "........puts his shirt on backwards" You cant tell he had a badly broken neck? No sympathy from you huh?

The_AirHawk · 04-04-2010, 08:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A Star Ride

LMFAO "........puts his shirt on backwards" You cant tell he had a badly broken neck? No sympathy from you huh?

Anyone that's ever had a hat with a chinstrap knows, that right about 17.26mph, the chinstrap starts to choke you as the hat comes off the top of your head and moves the the back of your neck. Close observers will note that what's REALLY holding the hat on the actor's pointed head, is the staples some Grip put in so the wouldn't have to keep re-filming his "action death-scene"...........

A Star Ride · 04-04-2010, 08:54 PM

My cowboy hat don't blow off till 17.67 MPH, it's custom

Buzglyd · 04-04-2010, 09:09 PM

Seru you really need your own website for these reviews.

I'll charge admission and split it with you 10/90.

BrowningBAR · 04-04-2010, 09:14 PM

Wow, screen shots and captions. The good doctor's reviews have evolved in the last two years.

mugwump58 · 04-05-2010, 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_AirHawk

It's like you threw yourself on a Grenade to save your Troops; only to discover it was just one of those ladyfinger-firecrackers, inside a cheap, Chinese-made plastic POS that's only made to LOOK like a Grenade.........

(but DAMN those ladyfinger's are loud sumbiotches, eh?)

It's the leap that counts. What happens after that doesn't really matter.

The_AirHawk · 04-05-2010, 06:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A Star Ride

My cowboy hat don't blow off till 17.67 MPH, it's custom

Ka-CHINK! Ka-CHINK! Ka-CHINK!

04-04-2010, 05:31 PM	#1
seruzawa Robby Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: 8501 ft. Posts: 16,803	MO Review: The Mini-Skirt Mob Slogging through this crap so you don't have to. This week's motorcycle movie "treat" is 60's schlock "The Mini-Skirt Mob". Motorcycle movies are never story heavy and the MSM is no exception. The plot is simply this: Cowboy Superstar Jeff Logan (we know this because it says so on his 15 ft trailer) marries Connie The Whiner. Ex-girlfriend Shayne (Jeff's not Connie's, this isn't that kind of movie) is pissed and gets her doormat boyfriend Lon and the rest of her "mob" to harass and terrify the couple. That's it. The cast includes people who actually had careers in the movies that extended years beyond this turkey. Jeremy Slate (Lon), Ross Hagen (Jeff), Patty McCormack (Shayne's Sizzling Sister Edie who also sings the title song), Sherry Jackson and Harry Dean Stanton!! There are 3 other mob members who don't have much to do. The movie is far more entertaining than was intended. Yep, this movie sports a biker gang of roaring Honda CB&CL160s! It also gives interesting lessons like- 1-Why you don't ride between a trailer and the cliff on a mountain road while harassing the driver and his wife. 2-Riding a motorcycle at about 25mph about 2 feet away from someone will cause them to fly into air to the side. 3-You can make Molotov ***tails with the gas in your bike's tank and empty beer bottles. 4-Griffith Park is in Arizona. 5-People turn into mannequins when they fall off of cliffs. 6-A Winchester 30-06 bolt action rifle can shoot 25 rounds without reloading. 7- If you hit someone who is traveling at 20 mph on a bike with a stick he will fall off, but as he falls he will take his shirt and jacket off and put them back on backwards. This movie is strictly PG. But would make an excellent MST3K subject. Ross Hagen IS Jeff Logan, Champion Rodeo Star! This is how we know he's Champion! Jeremy Slate IS Lon, Shayne's poosywhipped doormat and the 2nd best Rodeo Star. If he kills Ross he'll be the best! This has to be explained to him. Sherry Jackson IS Connie the Whiner. Seriously you have never seen anyone complain so much. "Why don't you do something?" "Because they have a rifle and I don't you stupid bytch!" Diane McBain IS Shayne The Jilted Girlfriend. This lady has serious jealousy issues. Harry Dean Stanton IS Spook, the Stupid Hick. His performance makes Jimm Carrey look like a genius. Patty McCormack IS Edie, the Sizzling Sister. Hot 160s!!! These guys know how to partay!! Turn up that Dean Martin song will ya? Disposable Lackey TJ... I don't think that is a good idea, TJ! Told ya so, TJ! Edie Sizzles! Lon puts his shirt on backwards. __________________ I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tanhauser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in the rain. Last edited by seruzawa : 04-04-2010 at 05:50 PM.*

04-04-2010, 08:14 PM	#3
The_AirHawk Founding Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Livin' in a Van: down by the Mariana Trench Posts: 10,891	It's like you threw yourself on a Grenade to save your Troops; only to discover it was just one of those ladyfinger-firecrackers, inside a cheap, Chinese-made plastic POS that's only made to LOOK like a Grenade......... (but DAMN those ladyfinger's are loud sumbiotches, eh?) __________________ *Parfois, on fait pas semblant* Sometimes, it's not pretend Oderint Dum Metuant Let them hate so long as they fear политики предпочитают безоружных крестьян Politicians Prefer Unarmed Peasants Nothing to see here, Citizen. Move along now...

04-04-2010, 08:25 PM	#4
A Star Ride Registered Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: central Va Posts: 1,126	LMFAO "........puts his shirt on backwards" You cant tell he had a badly broken neck? No sympathy from you huh? __________________ White Trash Hick from Appalachia

04-04-2010, 08:54 PM	#6
A Star Ride Registered Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: central Va Posts: 1,126	My cowboy hat don't blow off till 17.67 MPH, it's custom __________________ White Trash Hick from Appalachia

04-04-2010, 09:09 PM	#7
Buzglyd Founding Member Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 10,137	Seru you really need your own website for these reviews. I'll charge admission and split it with you 10/90. __________________ Jay Leno: "President Obama released his tax returns. It turns out he made $900,000 less in 2011 than he did in 2010. You know what that means? Even Obama is doing worse under President Obama."

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04-04-2010, 07:06 PM	#2
mugwump58 Registered Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: 43.47N-76.48W Posts: 586	Thank you Sir. Your sacrifice is greatly appreciated. I wonder though, how you made it through all that.

04-04-2010, 09:14 PM	#8
BrowningBAR Snuggles Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: In a really, really, really old farmhouse Posts: 4,364	Wow, screen shots and captions. The good doctor's reviews have evolved in the last two years.