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Old 02-09-2009, 02:45 PM   #1
Kenneth_Moore
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Default Nam Angels - When Beating Up Hippies Just Isn't Enough

You're a Lieutenant in Vietnam, and it's your last mission "in the bush." Two of your best men are taken captive by a band of primitive tribesmen, led by a crazed white man who has gone off the grid. In less than two weeks, the US Air Force is going to carpet-bomb the region where the men are held captive...bomb it into the Stone Age. The REMFs don't want any part of a rescue mission. The area is too hot for choppers to even try a rescue. Who ya gonna call?

NAM ANGELS! (Not to be confused with Hell's Angels, even though they have a remarkably similar logo and patches on their vests and call themselves Hells Angels)

With no one else to turn to, our Lieutenant proceeds to a downtown Siagon bar where a trio of Hell's Angels are busy kicking the ass of any Special Forces, Green Berets, or Marines who are dumb enough to give them a try. How did a band of Hell's Angels wind up in a Siagon bar? According to the bartender, they bet another club "back in the world" that they could ride their Harleys to Hell. So they did. The Siagon police confiscated their bikes, and left them stranded there. Apparently the Oakland Metro didn't have a stop there yet. Our Looey tells "Sonny," the leader of the Angels (sound familiar?) that there are millions of dollars in gold to be had out there, if they're up for a fight to get it. He fails to mention his imprisoned pals, and a deal is made. They'll use motorcycles to penetrate the enemy bush and get the goodies. Heh heh heh.

The next stop, which apparently is on the "Deleted Scenes" DVD that I didn't receive from NetFlix, is to Siagon Power Sports, where the Angels, the Lieutenant, and two of the LT's best Army buddies get six brand new Yamaha 259 enduro bikes, jungle camouflaged in bright yellow, red, and white paintjobs. The Angels have a hard time swallowing their pride and riding Japanese, but the promise of a million bucks in gold that is said to be hidden in a secret cave by the native tribesmen is enough to change their perspective. After training in firing various automatic weapons and grenade launchers whilst tearing around on their new bikes, the A-n-A Team is ready for Namaction!

The 6 Yamahas are stuffed into a couple of Hueys, and the Angels fly into the bush. Landing a couple hundred klicks away (that's "kilometers" for you civilians) the A-n-As team up to kill several hundred NVA, VC, Chinese, a busload of lost Finnish tourists, and quite a few farm animals. (Ok, I made up the part about the farm animals). You haven't motorcycled until you've motorcycled in battle. Let me tell you, the smell of 2-stroke oil and cordite will make your blood boil.

After fighting their way to near the secret jungle compound, the A-n-A crew case the joint. The encampment in controlled by white man who the jungle natives view as a God. A man who has lost all sense of military control. A man whose very word is law; who deals out life and death like cards from a deck. A man who must be terminated. With extreme prejudice. Wait a minute...

I don't want to give the whole movie away, so I'll wind up by saying that all three of the Hells Angels die, the prisoners are rescued but one of the Army guys dies, the evil white leader of the native tribesmen is killed, and they make the motorcycle jump over the river gorge sucessfully. Oh yeah, there's some National Geographic titties in the native tribe scenes.

FOUR KLAZY KENS!! Blacksploitation! Crazy Nam Vetsploitation! Bikesploitation! National Geographic Boobsploitation!
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Old 02-10-2009, 04:57 AM   #2
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Is this "Apocalype Now" revisited?
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Old 02-10-2009, 08:17 AM   #3
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This movie is also known as "The Losers" and has already been reviewed on this site including neat screengrabs.
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Old 02-10-2009, 10:24 AM   #4
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This movie is also known as "The Losers" and has already been reviewed on this site including neat screengrabs.
And your point is?
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Old 02-10-2009, 10:38 AM   #5
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And your point is?
My point is that only on MO are the customers provided with such copious amounts of vital information on motorcycle related media. MO strives to provide only the highest quality reviews. There's no reason to go any place else.
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Old 02-10-2009, 12:09 PM   #6
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My point is that only on MO are the customers provided with such copious amounts of vital information on motorcycle related media. MO strives to provide only the highest quality reviews. There's no reason to go any place else.
I like you. Have you lost weight? That haircut really looks great!
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Old 02-10-2009, 07:52 PM   #7
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My point is that only on MO are the customers provided with such copious amounts of vital information on motorcycle related media. MO strives to provide only the highest quality reviews. There's no reason to go any place else.
Harvey Korman?
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