Go Back   Motorcycle Forum > Motorcycle Multimedia > Motorcycle Videos

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 01-16-2009, 01:59 PM   #1
Kenneth_Moore
Registered Member
 
Kenneth_Moore's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: VIsiting the GIft Shop in the Pit of DIspair
Posts: 7,118
Default Stoned and Cold

I know several of the gang here really likes "Stone Cold," and frankly, so do I. That's not to say it's perfect. It arrived via NetFlix yesterday.

Brian Bosworth is a cop with an attitude. In the opening scene we learn that he's already on suspension from his home-town police force, presumably for whipping the snot out of bad guys, which he does a fine job of in the first 5 minutes of the film. Brian is coerced by the FBI into going undercover to bust up a dangerous biker gang (they're not a criminal organization, mind you, they just commit a lot of crimes in a highly coherent manner).

We follow Brian (operating under the nom de stupid: "Stone") and his new, wimpy, FBI partner as he penetrates the gang. The gang is lead by that guy who was "Bishop" in the Alien films, (he's really good, don't you think?) He doesn't get to penetrate the really hot biker chick who falls in love with him, which is probably fortunate. You see, Stone has a mullet. Actually two mullets. One on his head that would put any 80's rock star to shame, and another that we have to see when he struts around wearing a string bikini. Codpiece? Mulletpiece.

I will give Brian credit for actually riding a motorcycle in the film. In fact, pretty much all the actors actually ride motorcycles. And there's plenty of good camera work of the gang making it's arrival, executing it's departure, and tooling around town terrorizing the locals. It's refreshing to look back in history to time when HDs were running 160 series rear tires...they handled pretty well back then.

After taking off several Klazy Kens for having to see Brian walking around naked, I added almost as many back for all the gratuitous nudity. And, the gratuitous nudity sets the stage for the most hilarious scene ever done in a biker movie: Stone and his FBI rookie are walking into a biker bar/strip club. Stone is busy briefing the rookie on the various subtleties of the biker culture. As they step into the bar, filled with strippers earning their tips, Stone turns to the FBI guy and says: "the truckers come here to look at the girls and get their rocks off." And you thought he was just another pretty face.

3.5 Klazy Kens
__________________
www.kennethmoore.org
Kenneth_Moore is offline   Reply With Quote

Sponsored Links Remove Advertisements
Motorcycle Forum
Advertisement
Old 01-16-2009, 03:06 PM   #2
BrowningBAR
Snuggles

 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: In a really, really, really old farmhouse
Posts: 4,369
Default

BrowningBAR is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2009, 03:08 PM   #3
BrowningBAR
Snuggles

 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: In a really, really, really old farmhouse
Posts: 4,369
Default

BrowningBAR is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2009, 03:14 PM   #4
seruzawa
The Toad

 
seruzawa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: 8501 ft.
Posts: 17,461
Default

Dude, Stone Cold is topnotch biker shtick. That Viking funeral for William Forsyth (All Hail!) is classic.
__________________
"Make no mistake, Communism lost a big argument - one we know today as the 20th century."
seruzawa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2009, 05:10 PM   #5
Kenneth_Moore
Registered Member
 
Kenneth_Moore's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: VIsiting the GIft Shop in the Pit of DIspair
Posts: 7,118
Default

I'm just glad BBar didn't post a photo of Bosworth in his panties. The image may already be indelibly burned in my brain...
__________________
www.kennethmoore.org
Kenneth_Moore is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2009, 07:19 PM   #6
seruzawa
The Toad

 
seruzawa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: 8501 ft.
Posts: 17,461
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kenneth_Moore View Post
I'm just glad BBar didn't post a photo of Bosworth in his panties. The image may already be indelibly burned in my brain...
Well, just you hold up a minute. I own this dvd. Take me a few minutes to pull a couple of screenshots up for ya.
__________________
"Make no mistake, Communism lost a big argument - one we know today as the 20th century."
seruzawa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2009, 09:13 PM   #7
sarnali2
Aging Cafe` Racer

 
sarnali2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Sittin' down by my window, lookin' at the rain.
Posts: 8,719
Default

I'm afraid I don't watch this sort of thing...it's against my bringin' ups.

I will mention you all in my prayers....
__________________
"Carpe` Throttelum -Loud Suits Save Lives"

"He said he's farting because of his medication"...
sarnali2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2009, 06:42 AM   #8
longride
Super Duper Mod Man

 
longride's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Anywhere they let me
Posts: 10,479
Default

You finally watech the all-time bad of bad biker movies? This film is THE low water point for every biker flick ever made. It is so bad that it's good. I have probably seen it at least 20 times. I love it.
__________________
I'm a knucklehead
longride is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2009, 06:56 AM   #9
seruzawa
The Toad

 
seruzawa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: 8501 ft.
Posts: 17,461
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarnali2 View Post
I'm afraid I don't watch this sort of thing...it's against my bringin' ups.

I will mention you all in my prayers....
I'm afraid that after you buy Gojira and watch both US and Japanese versions and then watch them again with the commentaries and then watch all the special features.... well after all that your snobby attitude just doesn't cut it.
__________________
"Make no mistake, Communism lost a big argument - one we know today as the 20th century."
seruzawa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2009, 01:11 PM   #10
sarnali2
Aging Cafe` Racer

 
sarnali2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Sittin' down by my window, lookin' at the rain.
Posts: 8,719
Default

Gojira in Japanese is one of lifes sublime pleasures...this is just some failed Seahawk trying to make a buck. Doesn't look like he's any better at acting than he was at Football..
__________________
"Carpe` Throttelum -Loud Suits Save Lives"

"He said he's farting because of his medication"...
sarnali2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off