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Old 11-12-2007, 11:30 AM   #1
mscuddy
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Default Helpful Hints on stuff...

Here are some emails I get on a daily basis...hope they help out any MOron out there with the same issues...

User: BIKEMECHNUBI
Email: JeremyAutz
City: Phoenix
State: AZ
Country: UNITED STATES
Comment: My bike is a honda 92 cr125 dirtbike. i replace the pressure
plates, and clutch cable. Here is my question, when i fire my bike up
and put first gear in, it is rough. i have tried taking as much slack
off, and then some. ive used a washer to reduce even more slack, by the
housing for the pressure plates (know where i mean? where the cable
disappears into the void. Anyway, there is also that lever piece, i was
told when i put the parts together im suposed to have it all the way
down, is this ture? If your able to help or need me to describe my
problem better. just hit me up. thanks, jeremy

Mr. Autz,

After consulting with a close friend of mine who works in the time-space continuum department at NASA, Dr. Wisenhiemer, it seems your clutch cable has indeed disappeared into a "void" of some sort, caused by a tear in the fabric of the time. The only way he knows how to fix this problem, is to use liberal amounts of "JB TIME WELD" that can be found at your local hardware store. Don't get the "quick weld" stuff, as this can actually make matters worse, and cause the bike to implode, or turn into a 1919 Rudge.


User: style ''n'' mark
Email: fmarcusbryant
City: philadelphia
State: PA
Country:
Comment: I LOOKING TO GET ADVICE ABOUT HOW TO REMOVE A FLYWHEEL OFF MY 70CC DIRT BIKE. IF YOU KNOW ANY WEBSITES PLEASE LET ME KNOW. OR U KNO HOW 2 TAKE 1 OFF U CAN REQUEST ME ALL IS NECCESSARY (BAJA MODEL "06"
70CC)

Dear Stylin,

I've had the same issue with off-brand Pep Boys motorcycles, that have no available parts or tools to go with them. Here's what I suggest:

#1: Use a small amount of C4 explosive behind the flywheel, placed close to the junction of the crankshaft/flywheel. Make sure you REMOVE the nut holding the flywheel on before lighting the explosive charge, or the bike will be blown off, not the flywheel.

#2: If you don't have access to military grade explosives, you can use the rotational mass of the Earth to help you out. First, lay the bike on its side, flywheel side up, and get a chain-hoist or come-a-long and attach it to the flywheel (use super glue, wood screws, etc.). Hoist the motorcycle approx. 8 feet in the air, suspended only by the flywheel. Get some pillows or cushions from the sofa and place them under the motorcycle, as you don't want to damage anything when the flywheel finally pops off, and the bike comes crashing back to the ground. In this case, gravity does the job for you. On a side note, get some plastic sheeting to cover the pillows, as you don't want them damaged by oil or battery acid. Sometimes this takes weeks, even months, so be patient.

#3: You can also use an ATV or three-wheeler (you most likely have one) to remove the flywheel. First, drive two large steel pipes into the ground, about two feet apart, leaving about three feet of pipe exposed. Lean the flywheel side of the bike against the two pipes. Now get a chain, rope or whatever you have handy, and tie it around the flywheel. Tie the other end to the ATV, allowing for about ten feet of slack in the line. Have one of your more dim witted friends get on the ATV and go as fast as they can in the opposite direction of the bike, and when the slack finally uncoils from the chain, rope, etc, the flywheel will pop right off. If you find a three wheeler doesn't have enough power, you can borrow a 4x4 truck, or your Mom's station wagon, and try again. Hope this helps.
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Old 11-12-2007, 11:35 AM   #2
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And how, Mr. Cuddy, do you come by the pleasure of getting said emails? Some sort of "Dear Abby" column in the local magazine for m/c questions?
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Old 11-12-2007, 11:44 AM   #3
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"And how, Mr. Cuddy, do you come by the pleasure of getting said emails? Some sort of "Dear Abby" column in the local magazine for m/c questions?"

I'm a ghost writer on another website, dirtbikes only. The readers there appear to be even more idiotic than street riders, if that's possible...
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Old 11-12-2007, 11:52 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mscuddy View Post
The readers there appear to be even more idiotic than street riders, if that's possible...
"Stimpy, the depths of your stupidity never fails to astound me."
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Old 11-12-2007, 11:54 AM   #5
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Default By way of evidence

We respectfully submit for your consideration:

World Toilet Association builds house -- South Florida Sun-Sentinel.com
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Old 11-12-2007, 12:01 PM   #6
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MS, are you ghost writing "Don't Ask"?
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Old 11-12-2007, 12:11 PM   #7
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"MS, are you ghost writing "Don't Ask"?"

Only the overflow emails, the ones that like raw sewage bubble up between the floorboards...Rick has only so much patience.
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Old 11-12-2007, 12:30 PM   #8
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Default Sweet Jesus!

I just finished reading a few dozen of the letter's to "Don't Ask." I used to know some dirt riders, but I don't recall them riding the "short bus."

i caint unnerstnd why they caint rite more batter 4u 2unnerstnd whut they say batter.
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