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Old 10-13-2007, 06:14 AM   #1
Kenneth_Moore
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Default Ghost Rider II - From HD

Apparently HD is recalling thousands of Sportsters. It turns out that if your pants touch the header pipe, they may burst into flames! (The pants, not the header pipes.) HD is going to add heat shields to the pipes. No word yet from the clothing manufacturers on recalling their clearly dangerous, flammable clothing. What a shame; blazing motorcyclists streaking down the Interstate look really cool at night.

HD should consider just issuing shorts to XL buyers. Once the hair burns off, the calf skin never catches fire, and you can get that neat motorcycle "tattoo" as a bonus.
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Old 10-13-2007, 07:48 AM   #2
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I've this friend, told me about this one time that he was merging-onto the Freeway late at night, he drops-in behind this semi-truck, and immediately noticed something "wasn't quite right": The trailer was blazing merrily-away.

Thinking fast, he started honking, waving, flashing his lights, etc. - everything he could do to get the Trucker's attention. He finally gets the guy to pull-over, Bill (my friend) pulls-alongside the cab where the guy started shouting "WTF do you WANT?" Bill calls back, warning the trucker "Hey man! You're on fire! You're ON FIRE!"

The guy looks in his mirror at the load, looks over at Bill, screams "doGdammit, I KNOW THAT!!!", jams it in gear and roars off down the highway, leaving Bill sitting there speechless..........
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Old 10-13-2007, 07:54 AM   #3
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Haha, wtf?
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Old 10-13-2007, 08:20 AM   #4
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Default I guess the ......

.... polite response is to call your friend's "story" apocryphal.
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Old 10-13-2007, 08:31 AM   #5
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To quote the Superfreak hisself, Rick James: "Cocaine is a heluva drug........"
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Let them hate so long as they fear
политики предпочитают безоружных крестьян
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Old 10-13-2007, 12:22 PM   #6
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Default The Richard Pryor Commemorative Edition...

...man, thought I'd heard it all. Don't wear vinyl parachute pants when riding your sporty.

Pshhahahhhah
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Old 10-13-2007, 12:33 PM   #7
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That's just typical of the pansy ass's riding Harleys these days, how about keeping your pants off the pipes? That's like whinning about toasting your ass when you're sitting on your Ultra Classic with lowers doing some faggot 10 mile an hour "parade" in 90 degree weather. God, frikken man up for christ's sake.

When I had my chopped Shovelhead my right leg sat on top of the rear cylnder head at stop lights, I probably still have scars from it. One time the right fat bob started leaking and soaked my crotch with gas while I was haulin' down I-5, that's the only time I worried about bursting into flames. Apparently if you mount 10 year old 5 gallon fat bobs on a rigid frame, you'll want to stick some nice thick rubber washers in there......
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Old 10-13-2007, 01:03 PM   #8
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Reminds me of the time my squadron went to Rosie Roads PR for a misslex. Some of us bikers in the squadron rented Honda Passport mopeds one weekend, and after ingesting several kilos of purple mushrooms that grew all over the base, we ended up on some mud flats, next to the officers beach, chasing land crabs. This was great fun, sliding around, trying to catch the crabs that scurried all over the mud flats, and soon I had my moped up to terminal speed, and was just about to nail one of the blue crabs when it made a hard left, and sent me lowsiding through some bushes that lined the officers beach. Some zeros were having a kids birthday party, and were startled to see me crash through the bushes, laughing, as the moped went on top of me. My laughter turned to horror though, as the cork-type gas cap popped off, and spilled about a gallon of premix on my nads. The burning sensation was immediate, and in a state of panic, I threw the moped off me, pulled my swim trunks down around my ankles, and ran into the ocean, screaming OW! OW! OW! The mothers at the party covered their children's eyes, as I proceeded to splash cooling ocean water on my fornisqued nuts. The male members of the party were not amused, however, and proceeded to grab me, and throw me back through the bushes I just exited from, my swim suit still down around my ankles. That was hard to live down.
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Old 10-13-2007, 01:32 PM   #9
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We were at the Nato base in Napoli for a B&M Div get blasted and play football game one time. After the game we went to some little tav on the base and finished off the place, turns out they had Olympia beer there. We bought two sixxers each to go and just wandered around the base when we came across this Officer Garden Party thing, we sat out in the dark on this hillside and listened to the orchestra watching all this full dress brass and purty girls all in diamonds and stuff...It was kind of a trip, like the scene in Heartbreak Ridge where they're at the social. we sat up there and smoked some hash and drank our beers and just checked them out. If we were Bader-Mienhoff or Red Brigades we could have knocked off the entire Nato brass at one pop with a couple of RPG's and AK's.
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Old 10-13-2007, 02:45 PM   #10
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Default Pambopino?

We were in Brindizi Italy (remember that one?) and my shop boss was this 2nd class Philippino guy named Tony Luna. Tony was a gun nut, and everything he ate, drank, smoked and talked about, had to do with guns.

One time, we were way out in the north-east part of Brindisi, where the sand dunes are, at some NATO airbase's officer's club. The night before I had been to this place, and got a free meal after some drunk zero barfed all over my table (the place was packed, so the waiter asked if they could sit at my table, as I was with with three people). It was a real bytch to get to, had to take a 1 hour bus ride.

Anyway, that next night, they wouldn't let us in, as we had enlisted ID cards. How I got in the night before was a mystery (maybe it was because I had three fine American girls on my arm, but that's another story).

Tony got so pissed off (because of the long ride), he said to the Italian guy at the door: "If this was America, I would take my 9mm, put it here in my belt, then I would take my .45, put it here on the other side, then I would gey my M14, and strap it to my back, and put my .357 in my fanny pack, and then do you know what I would do? I would kill you and everybody in this town, and then burn it to the ground with gasoline!"

The Italian guy at the door just smiled, and said in broken English: "Thank You!" Didn't speak a word of English...hahhahha

Then there was the time I was at this railroad station...
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