Go Back   Motorcycle Forum > Motorcycle.Com General Discussion > Motorcycle General Discussion

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 08-29-2008, 08:04 AM   #1
seruzawa
The Toad

 
seruzawa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: 8501 ft.
Posts: 17,463
Default "The Losers" Movie Review.

Available on Netflix, "The Losers" is the tale of 5 bikers who are hired by the US Army to rescue a CIA agent being held captive in Cambodia by the Red Chinese. At least that's what I think it is. This movie strictly follows the Basic Rule of Biker Movies(tm) - incoherent plotting. It stars 70 biker movie icon, William Smith and B movie stalwart Paul Koslo. It is bookended by a typical Biker Movie Bad Song Performed By Some Unknown Artist(tm). It is low on drinking and doping and sex scenes so that loses it some points. But it does have sappy horror-inducing love scenes for that extra bad movie flair.

There is a commentary track included with the above two actors. It's quite amusing commentary because these actors have contracted that dreaded movie disease where crappy actors think that their schlocky movie has artistic merit and is making a STATEMENT.

Important Movie Facts:

-The Red Chinese have a manpower shortage and use dressed mannequins as perimeter guards.
-Throwing a soldier through the wall of a grass hut will disable him.
-Vietnam and Cambodia are populated entirely with Filipinos.
-People actually have red paint in their arteries.
-US Military Police can arrest civilians.
-You can ride over the thatched roof of a grass hut on a motorcycle.
-US soldiers in Vietnam were equipped with only an M-16 or a Thompson with one magazine and a WW1/2 cartridge belt.
-Yamaha DT1s can outrun grenade shrapnel.
-People held prisoner in grass huts only need to be guarded by one soldier.
-They were still using pineapple style grenades during the Vietnam War.

Look for:

-Flaming flying Yamaha 80.
-Special CIA Agent glasses.
-Exploding oil drums killing people over 100 feet away.
-Special marijuana that makes soon-to-be-executed prisoners laugh at their situation.
-Soldiers screaming with their mouths closed.

Continuity errors are not notable in this flick because it is basically one big continuity error.

Best viewed in an alcoholic haze this biker movie gets the Dr Seruzawa's 4 Oxygen Destroyer Bombs Rating. A few more drinking/dope scenes would have iced the cake and given it the full 5 Bombs.
Attached Images
File Type: jpg losers.jpg (34.6 KB, 7 views)
File Type: jpg losers (1).jpg (36.1 KB, 5 views)
File Type: jpg losers (2).jpg (42.5 KB, 5 views)
File Type: jpg losers (3).jpg (30.8 KB, 5 views)
File Type: jpg losers (4).jpg (40.0 KB, 5 views)
File Type: jpg losers (5).jpg (140.9 KB, 4 views)
__________________
"Make no mistake, Communism lost a big argument - one we know today as the 20th century."

Last edited by seruzawa : 08-29-2008 at 08:12 AM.
seruzawa is offline   Reply With Quote

Sponsored Links Remove Advertisements
Motorcycle Forum
Advertisement
Old 08-29-2008, 08:06 AM   #2
longride
Super Duper Mod Man

 
longride's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Anywhere they let me
Posts: 10,484
Default

If it's half as good as Stone Cold, I'm there!
__________________
I'm a knucklehead

Last edited by longride : 08-29-2008 at 08:25 AM.
longride is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-29-2008, 08:21 AM   #3
Buzglyd
Founding Member
 
Buzglyd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 10,913
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by seruzawa View Post
Available on Netflix, "The Losers" is the tale of 5 bikers who are hired by the US Army to rescue a CIA agent being held captive in Cambodia by the Red Chinese. At least that's what I think it is. This movie strictly follows the Basic Rule of Biker Movies(tm) - incoherent plotting. It stars 70 biker movie icon, William Smith and B movie stalwart Paul Koslo. It is bookended by a typical Biker Movie Bad Song Performed By Some Unknown Artist(tm). It is low on drinking and doping and sex scenes so that loses it some points. But it does have sappy horror-inducing love scenes for that extra bad movie flair.

There is a commentary track included with the above two actors. It's quite amusing commentary because these actors have contracted that dreaded movie disease where crappy actors think that their schlocky movie has artistic merit and is making a STATEMENT.

Important Movie Facts:

-The Red Chinese have a manpower shortage and use dressed mannequins as perimeter guards.
-Throwing a soldier through the wall of a grass hut will disable him.
-Vietnam and Cambodia are populated entirely with Filipinos.
-People actually have red paint in their arteries.
-US Military Police can arrest civilians.
-You can ride over the thatched roof of a grass hut on a motorcycle.
-US soldiers in Vietnam were equipped with only an M-16 or a Thompson with one magazine and a WW1/2 cartridge belt.
-Yamaha DT1s can outrun grenade shrapnel.
-People held prisoner in grass huts only need to be guarded by one soldier.
-They were still using pineapple style grenades during the Vietnam War.

Look for:

-Flaming flying Yamaha 80.
-Special CIA Agent glasses.
-Exploding oil drums killing people over 100 feet away.
-Special marijuana that makes soon-to-be-executed prisoners laugh at their situation.
-Soldiers screaming with their mouths closed.

Continuity errors are not notable in this flick because it is basically one big continuity error.

Best viewed in an alcoholic haze this biker movie gets the Dr Seruzawa's 4 Oxygen Destroyer Bombs Rating. A few more drinking/dope scenes would have iced the cake and given it the full 5 Bombs.
Any gratuitous boob shots or the infamous "evil guy in the strip club" scene?
Buzglyd is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-29-2008, 08:28 AM   #4
seruzawa
The Toad

 
seruzawa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: 8501 ft.
Posts: 17,463
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Buzglyd View Post
Any gratuitous boob shots or the infamous "evil guy in the strip club" scene?
Boob shots, yes.

No Evil Club Guy. But there's an Evil Black Market Guy. Does that help?
__________________
"Make no mistake, Communism lost a big argument - one we know today as the 20th century."
seruzawa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-29-2008, 09:20 AM   #5
mscuddy
MODERATOR X

 
mscuddy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Next to my still checkin the temp.
Posts: 5,447
Default

When the f*** was this move made? Nice white tanked DT1's with the square stock swingarm & non cush drive hub. Where can I get a copy of this movie? Looks facinating. Do the DT1's make four-stroke noises? And where can I get some of that weed? The stuff I've got only makes me want to eat.
__________________
A gun is a tool, Marian; no better or no worse than any other tool: an axe, a shovel or anything. A gun is as good or as bad as the man using it. Remember that.
mscuddy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-29-2008, 09:31 AM   #6
seruzawa
The Toad

 
seruzawa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: 8501 ft.
Posts: 17,463
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by mscuddy View Post
When the f*** was this move made? Nice white tanked DT1's with the square stock swingarm & non cush drive hub. Where can I get a copy of this movie? Looks facinating. Do the DT1's make four-stroke noises? And where can I get some of that weed? The stuff I've got only makes me want to eat.
The bike sounds were pretty accurate which is why I didn't bring it up.

Amazon.com: The Losers: Vic Diaz, Bernie Hamilton, Dan Kemp, Paul Koslo, Paraluman, Houston Savage, William Smith, Alan Caillou, John Garwood, Paul Nuckles, Adam Roarke, Jack Starrett, Eugene Cornelius, Miles Mutchler, Paquito Salcedo, Ana Korita, Ar
__________________
"Make no mistake, Communism lost a big argument - one we know today as the 20th century."
seruzawa is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off