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-   -   "The Losers" Movie Review. (http://www.motorcycle.com/forum/motorcycle-general-discussion/9365-losers-movie-review.html)

seruzawa 08-29-2008 08:04 AM

"The Losers" Movie Review.
 
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Available on Netflix, "The Losers" is the tale of 5 bikers who are hired by the US Army to rescue a CIA agent being held captive in Cambodia by the Red Chinese. At least that's what I think it is. This movie strictly follows the Basic Rule of Biker Movies(tm) - incoherent plotting. It stars 70 biker movie icon, William Smith and B movie stalwart Paul Koslo. It is bookended by a typical Biker Movie Bad Song Performed By Some Unknown Artist(tm). It is low on drinking and doping and sex scenes so that loses it some points. But it does have sappy horror-inducing love scenes for that extra bad movie flair.

There is a commentary track included with the above two actors. It's quite amusing commentary because these actors have contracted that dreaded movie disease where crappy actors think that their schlocky movie has artistic merit and is making a STATEMENT.

Important Movie Facts:

-The Red Chinese have a manpower shortage and use dressed mannequins as perimeter guards.
-Throwing a soldier through the wall of a grass hut will disable him.
-Vietnam and Cambodia are populated entirely with Filipinos.
-People actually have red paint in their arteries.
-US Military Police can arrest civilians.
-You can ride over the thatched roof of a grass hut on a motorcycle.
-US soldiers in Vietnam were equipped with only an M-16 or a Thompson with one magazine and a WW1/2 cartridge belt.
-Yamaha DT1s can outrun grenade shrapnel.
-People held prisoner in grass huts only need to be guarded by one soldier.
-They were still using pineapple style grenades during the Vietnam War.

Look for:

-Flaming flying Yamaha 80.
-Special CIA Agent glasses.
-Exploding oil drums killing people over 100 feet away.
-Special marijuana that makes soon-to-be-executed prisoners laugh at their situation.
-Soldiers screaming with their mouths closed.

Continuity errors are not notable in this flick because it is basically one big continuity error.

Best viewed in an alcoholic haze this biker movie gets the Dr Seruzawa's 4 Oxygen Destroyer Bombs Rating. A few more drinking/dope scenes would have iced the cake and given it the full 5 Bombs.

longride 08-29-2008 08:06 AM

If it's half as good as Stone Cold, I'm there!

Buzglyd 08-29-2008 08:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seruzawa (Post 192515)
Available on Netflix, "The Losers" is the tale of 5 bikers who are hired by the US Army to rescue a CIA agent being held captive in Cambodia by the Red Chinese. At least that's what I think it is. This movie strictly follows the Basic Rule of Biker Movies(tm) - incoherent plotting. It stars 70 biker movie icon, William Smith and B movie stalwart Paul Koslo. It is bookended by a typical Biker Movie Bad Song Performed By Some Unknown Artist(tm). It is low on drinking and doping and sex scenes so that loses it some points. But it does have sappy horror-inducing love scenes for that extra bad movie flair.

There is a commentary track included with the above two actors. It's quite amusing commentary because these actors have contracted that dreaded movie disease where crappy actors think that their schlocky movie has artistic merit and is making a STATEMENT.

Important Movie Facts:

-The Red Chinese have a manpower shortage and use dressed mannequins as perimeter guards.
-Throwing a soldier through the wall of a grass hut will disable him.
-Vietnam and Cambodia are populated entirely with Filipinos.
-People actually have red paint in their arteries.
-US Military Police can arrest civilians.
-You can ride over the thatched roof of a grass hut on a motorcycle.
-US soldiers in Vietnam were equipped with only an M-16 or a Thompson with one magazine and a WW1/2 cartridge belt.
-Yamaha DT1s can outrun grenade shrapnel.
-People held prisoner in grass huts only need to be guarded by one soldier.
-They were still using pineapple style grenades during the Vietnam War.

Look for:

-Flaming flying Yamaha 80.
-Special CIA Agent glasses.
-Exploding oil drums killing people over 100 feet away.
-Special marijuana that makes soon-to-be-executed prisoners laugh at their situation.
-Soldiers screaming with their mouths closed.

Continuity errors are not notable in this flick because it is basically one big continuity error.

Best viewed in an alcoholic haze this biker movie gets the Dr Seruzawa's 4 Oxygen Destroyer Bombs Rating. A few more drinking/dope scenes would have iced the cake and given it the full 5 Bombs.

Any gratuitous boob shots or the infamous "evil guy in the strip club" scene?

seruzawa 08-29-2008 08:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buzglyd (Post 192517)
Any gratuitous boob shots or the infamous "evil guy in the strip club" scene?

Boob shots, yes.

No Evil Club Guy. But there's an Evil Black Market Guy. Does that help?

mscuddy 08-29-2008 09:20 AM

When the f*** was this move made? Nice white tanked DT1's with the square stock swingarm & non cush drive hub. Where can I get a copy of this movie? Looks facinating. Do the DT1's make four-stroke noises? And where can I get some of that weed? The stuff I've got only makes me want to eat.

seruzawa 08-29-2008 09:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mscuddy (Post 192521)
When the f*** was this move made? Nice white tanked DT1's with the square stock swingarm & non cush drive hub. Where can I get a copy of this movie? Looks facinating. Do the DT1's make four-stroke noises? And where can I get some of that weed? The stuff I've got only makes me want to eat.

The bike sounds were pretty accurate which is why I didn't bring it up.

Amazon.com: The Losers: Vic Diaz, Bernie Hamilton, Dan Kemp, Paul Koslo, Paraluman, Houston Savage, William Smith, Alan Caillou, John Garwood, Paul Nuckles, Adam Roarke, Jack Starrett, Eugene Cornelius, Miles Mutchler, Paquito Salcedo, Ana Korita, Ar


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