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Old 09-06-2007, 12:05 PM   #21
sarnali2
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I tried to get my oldest daughters lame-brain boy friend to join the Marines, almost had him too ...."dude, they pay you out the ass to f*ck sh*t up"...... I was just about ready to drive him to the recruiters when she found out about it and read us both the riot act.

Too bad it would have gave the useless bastard somthing to do beside hang out at my house sniffing her tail..
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Old 09-06-2007, 12:11 PM   #22
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Default Could be worse...

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I tried to get my oldest daughters lame-brain boy friend to join the Marines, almost had him too ...."dude, they pay you out the ass to f*ck sh*t up"...... I was just about ready to drive him to the recruiters when she found out about it and read us both the riot act.

Too bad it would have gave the useless bastard somthing to do beside hang out at my house sniffing her tail..
... he could be like you were.
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Old 09-06-2007, 12:25 PM   #23
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I tried to get my oldest daughters lame-brain boy friend to join the Marines, almost had him too ...."dude, they pay you out the ass to f*ck sh*t up"...... I was just about ready to drive him to the recruiters when she found out about it and read us both the riot act.

Too bad it would have gave the useless bastard somthing to do beside hang out at my house sniffing her tail..
Be sure to mention HD's Armed Services Discount! You can swing by the dealer on the way home from the recruiting office. "Honey, you're going to look GREAT on the back of (insert lame ass boyfriend's name here) bike when he's home on leave!"
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Old 09-06-2007, 02:02 PM   #24
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Be sure to mention HD's Armed Services Discount! You can swing by the dealer on the way home from the recruiting office. "Honey, you're going to look GREAT on the back of (insert lame ass boyfriend's name here) bike when he's home on leave!"
Just tell the boyfriends, "I'll do anything to protect my daughter. I'll even go back to prison."
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Old 09-10-2007, 01:45 AM   #25
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Default Redaction of divot

I found the pervasive acrid exactitudes that the eviscerated arcticle festooned not very germane or succint. The peccadillo could have been the blithely linear points, to levy the redaction of divot.

- cruiz-euro
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Old 09-10-2007, 07:33 AM   #26
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Bad news, cruiz-dude. You have what I have. I have been to many professionals and they all say that it AND the embarrassing rash that accompanies it are lifelong conditions.

1000mg of Cartoon Monkey applied topically will allow you lead a vestige of an outwardly normal life. You will probably still fall prey to temptation. When given the opportunity, you will enjoy using the term "fits of tizzies and vapors", merely because the phrase hasn't been aired in public in eons.

You do have my sympathy. The good news is chicks dig inscrutable fellows. At least the corpulent ones with nice personalities do.
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Old 09-10-2007, 08:40 AM   #27
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I am still geeking out about that copper-in-the-place-of-helicoil trick.

I wish I didn't know what a helicoil is. That brief moment of innocence... a bolt tightened just a tad too far- and WHAM innocence lost. No longer will the term "stripped" bring up "strippers" in the old mental rolodex. NO, now it means money. Pain. Spilled fluids.

Hmmm....

I got to go lay down.
What's really fun is when you break off the "Easy Out" spiral fluted screw extractor in the threaded hole before you even get to the helicoil stage. I watched an "expert" break not one, but TWO of the damn things off. Whatever they make those things out of make drill bits look like wood. The final solution involved a torch.
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Old 09-10-2007, 09:08 AM   #28
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Yes yes Ken. The "EZ Out". The most fiendish plot ever hatched on the innocent proletariat workers of the world. The "EZ Out" is actually a coded recommendation for suicide.

I snapped off a bolt (produced in a third world "pretend to pay me, I pretend to work" country). It was snapped off flush, naturally.

I bought an "EZ Way Out" and drilled out the hole per instruktions. I began to carefully thread the spiral piece of DOOM into the hole and no sooner can you mumble "Jack Daniels" I hear a nasty little ironic sound.

[snap]

Disbelief! Was ist das? NEIN! There it is, the spiral screw extractor has a piece about 1/4" long missing. It is broken off flush in the flushly broken off bolt. My face now fully flushed, I cry to the heavens.

GOD, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME? WHY?

This does no good. The screw extractor is made out of a metal that was nastily divorced and grew hard, and will not yield to frantic attacks by drill bits or dental tools. It will yield neither to invective [that one is for you, Cruiz] nor to supplication [bonus! Cruiz, bonus!].

Laying defeated in the dust I remember that there are things harder than even hardened steel. I try to pry the diamond ring off my wife's finger, but she swats me away with a tennis racket, so instead I speed off to the hardware store. This is where I become aware that I am part of a massive plot perpetrated by THE MAN.

In the aisle there are loads of tools that are made of tungsten carbide and some even that are diamond tipped. They are adjacent to the EZ Out Screw Extractors and Taps of Dubious Provenance [go NUTz Cruiz!].

I race home, and apply tungsten carbide to begin to hack out (the diamond tips bent, as they are diamond coated but the base steel is not up to the task) the offending 1/4 inch. My Dremel smokes and screams, but I laugh triumphant. Now I only have a bolt snapped off flush! Victory! Hit the Airhorns! WOOOTT WOOOOOT!

Back to the store. There I buy some left-handed drill bits (Satan's Finest Brand) and return home much much poorer. I drill out the offending bolt, and am left with stripped threads. I go for a THIRD time to the hardware store, have a mild coronary event when I see how much a HeliHighwayrobberyKit goes for, and finally I am able to finish my project.

I thread a new bolt in with quaking fingers. Cue the organ music and heavenly glow of satisfaction that comes from turning a 10 cent bolt made with slave labor into a $120.00 solution that employs half the Free World.

Workers of the World, UNITE.
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Old 09-10-2007, 09:42 AM   #29
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The "EZ Out" is actually a coded recommendation for suicide.
"EZ Out" is "EZ to say!"
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Old 09-10-2007, 12:30 PM   #30
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The "EZ Out" is actually a coded recommendation for suicide.

I snapped off a bolt (produced in a third world "pretend to pay me, I pretend to work" country).

Cue the organ music and heavenly glow of satisfaction that comes from turning a 10 cent bolt made with slave labor into a $120.00 solution that employs half the Free World.
Long-ago I discovered the SECRET to removing broken/seized/corroded bolts, screws, capscrews, and fingerprints.

WITHOUT THE USE OF AN "EZ-OUT"!

What? You think I'm tellin' YOU guys? You'll all want one..........
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