Motorcycle.com Best of 2011 Awards

[schizuki]

Originally Posted by The Spaceman

As for the cost: I made the mistake of having the dealer put in a Suzuki-labeled Yashua last Fall.

Wow. This is the first time I've ever heard of anyone having a dealer install a battery.

Next time you need one, your manual should have a section on battery replacement. You'll probably just need to remove the seat and maybe a cover of some sort (don't worry, probably just a few screws.) Then you just remove the two leads from the battery (don't let them touch the frame), take the old battery out, put the new one in, and reconnect the leads (red to positive, black to negative.) And don't buy the battery from the dealer.

[pushrod]

Originally Posted by schizuki

Wow. This is the first time I've ever heard of anyone having a dealer install a battery.

Next time you need one, your manual should have a section on battery replacement. You'll probably just need to remove the seat and maybe a cover of some sort (don't worry, probably just a few screws.) Then you just remove the two leads from the battery (don't let them touch the frame), take the old battery out, put the new one in, and reconnect the leads (red to positive, black to negative.) And don't buy the battery from the dealer.

I think he knows all that. I'm blaming the confusion wrought upon him by the alien abductors and all. the. probing...


(What's with the probing, anyhow? You'd think, with intergalactic travel and the attendant technology, they wouldn't need 'probes'. Unless they get a kick out of the whole thing...)

[The_AirHawk]

Originally Posted by pushrod

(What's with the probing, anyhow? You'd think, with intergalactic travel and the attendant technology, they wouldn't need 'probes'. Unless they get a kick out of the whole thing...)

I think it's along the same lines of a Proctoscope - a 3"-diameter steel pipe, 32"-long; designed to make a Man jump 46" straight-up.....

Oh, the laughter at the Proctologist's Conventions.......

[sarnali2]

Originally Posted by The_AirHawk

I think it's along the same lines of a Proctoscope - a 3"-diameter steel pipe, 32"-long; designed to make a Man jump 46" straight-up.....

Oh, the laughter at the Proctologist's Conventions.......

I made the mistake of asking the Dr. how they went about the procedure when they removed 2 feet of my colon this spring......

I'll never look at my nethersump the same way again. : (

[newbie-b]

I cannot believe that the Suzuki GSX1250FA, formally know as the Bandit, received the honorable mention in the sport touring category. I consider myself a Suzuki guy, but how did this happen? Is it that no one else had a newer model or did the raters figure it was Suzuki's turn to get a bone....I always liked the Bandit but only a name change is needed and wah-la!!!! a good sport touring machine. IMO, the Bandit was underrated and it is good the see the model finally get recognition.

[Dr_Sprocket]

I like these types of articles. There is always a debate about which motorcycle is "best", but there is no doubt the editors and writers have highlighted the best new (? new) bikes of 2011. Bravo!

FWIW, I finally got a chance to ride the Zed 1000... well, it's brother the Ninja 1000. Nice bike, plenty of power, great ergos! It's funny, but I noticed some intrusive vibes at/around 6-7,000 rpm. They were the tickle-the-foot kind, not pleasing at all. I don't remember reading about this at all in the MO review.

My brother rode the test ride with me on a 2006 BMW K1200R. Mid-ride we swapped bikes, just to compare. Without question, the BMW was more refined, had a smoother engine/brakes/throttle, and had slightly better ergonomics. It was amazing to see just how well BMW engineered their K-bike line (and that was comparing a 2006 to a 2011 Kawi)!

[The Spaceman]

Originally Posted by sarnali2

I made the mistake of asking the Dr. how they went about the procedure when they removed 2 feet of my colon this spring......

I'll never look at my nethersump the same way again. : (

I came to in the middle of my procto "exam." The Dr. and nurse were gleefully ramming their 6" diameter pipe up my ass so hard I was sliding off the end of the bed. (Sorry Shizuke, didn't mean to get you all worked up there.)

I passed out and woke up in the recovery room. The Dr. avoided my calls for two weeks so I finally sent him a registered letter of complaint. His response: "many people wake up in the procedure, but most do not remember the event." I guess I got a crappy Roofie.

[pushrod]

Okay, this has nothing to do with the OP. Sorry.

The way I understand it, the 'painful' part of the colonoscopy procedure isn't the eight feet of garden hose they cram up your six; it's the amount of air they inject to inflate the colon so they can see the surfaces.

And no one will tell me if they knock you out to miss out on the pain, or just so you don't remember it...

I had to suffer a USAF procto performing a 'stand-up' sigmoidoscopy years ago. Wow!

If the 'barium enema' wasn't enough fun, it was standing in front of the flouroscope while he pumped me up like a freakin' parade float with one of those little red hand pumps (like you see on BP cuffs).

I thought he was going to break one of my ribs!

That sound (of the little hand pump) still gives me chills...

[The Spaceman]

Originally Posted by pushrod

And no one will tell me if they knock you out to miss out on the pain, or just so you don't remember it...

...

I mentioned I was going in for this "procedure" (waterboarding is a "procedure" too) to a couple guys at work. Both of them told me these wonderful stories of the awesome drugs they got, and how they spent the rest of the day on Cloud 9.

Naturally I get the Dr. with the sadistic streak....

[sarnali2]

Originally Posted by The Spaceman

I mentioned I was going in for this "procedure" (waterboarding is a "procedure" too) to a couple guys at work. Both of them told me these wonderful stories of the awesome drugs they got, and how they spent the rest of the day on Cloud 9.

Naturally I get the Dr. with the sadistic streak....

The colonoscopy is nothing, when they actually start removing parts is when it gets fun:

First an incision through the belly button and one off to the left to cut the colon loose from it's moorings, then about a six inch incision below the navel to grab a hold of it and pull it out to make the cut, then stuff it all back in and jam a stapler up your ass to staple the two pieces back together, then cut and instal a temporary drain in your abdominal cavity to see if any waste is leaking out of the "work area" ..then you wake up feeling like... well... someone had just yanked your guts out and stuffed them back in.....

Yes, it f'n hurts very bad... no, there isn't enough morphine in that little pump to stop it from hurting.....