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Old 05-06-2008, 09:04 AM   #1
Cheesebeast
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Default Design A Motorcycle By Committee

Greetings.

I dislike committees. All that blah blah blah [I hate you yet I find you oddly attractive and I loathe the perfect natural curve of your...] blah blah blah [I wish I was on Grand Cayman Island] blah blah blah [I have an embarrassing rash and I hope no one notices] blah blah blah [What is that SMELL?] blah blah blah [Someone stole the cookies out of my lunch bag AND my blue sharpie pen] blah blah blah...

My experiences with committees has been dismal. That said, perhaps I was on the wrong committees. MO is a cut above the riffraffians, so I suggest we form a committee.

Consider, for a moment, the state of the Motorcycle today. Roy G. Biv bought a new motorcycle and he gleefully went straight into the honeymoon period. He carefully read all the reviews (after he bought the bike, of course). He posted long winded diatribes on how everyone who chose "X" instead of his bike is a sad pathetic fool destined for anonymity. Naturally, "X" was the "runner up" of the model he chose to purchase. It just came down to the "X" dealer location being on the far side of the mountain in Ipecac and not in his home abode of Smooth City.

A few years pass, though, and Roy no longer regards his motorcycle with the same motolust. The sore back, aching wrists, and third degree burns on his right calf that used to be endearing are now tiresome. The fork oil needs to be changed, and the brake fluid as well- nag, nag, nag says the Service Manual. He even starts to resent pumping up the tires and when was the last time he checked the valve clearances? He briefly considers a trial separation... One late night Roy sees his shameful reflection in the big glass window of a motorcycle dealership 26.2 miles from home. How did it get to this?

It occurs to Roy that the bike he owns could be better if it had been better designed in the first place. Yea, he knows exactly what he would change about that bike. Unfortunately, that is not the purpose of our exercise.

I suggest we build the Perfect Motorcycle(s) By Committee. The only rule? It should be a completely new model(s) and not merely a modification of an existing design.
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Old 05-06-2008, 09:12 AM   #2
sachiwilson
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He has a service manual? :I
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Old 05-06-2008, 09:20 AM   #3
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I'll go with a V-6 motor design for uniqueness. Standard chassis design with removable hard bags and windshield. 180 horsepower at least with 120+ tq. Keep the wieght around 600 lbs. or under, and the price around 15 G or less and I'm there.
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Old 05-06-2008, 09:20 AM   #4
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No, he has a Service Manual. Though it is recognized as infallible, it usually just ends up making poor Roy feel inadequate and guilty. Particularly the part that features the maintenance intervals.
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Old 05-06-2008, 09:27 AM   #5
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It needs a 6' chrome sissy bar and 35" over girder front end. Hardtail, of course.
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Old 05-06-2008, 09:31 AM   #6
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Typical committee behavior...

Ah well.

Let's just make a lunch order and talk about women's tennis.
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Old 05-06-2008, 09:49 AM   #7
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The only reason I would watch womens tennis is to see if they're wearing knickers when they bend over.

Oh and I'll take a Ruben and a Coke Zero if we're ordering.......


Since I already designed the Deisel engined KLR that the Jarheads are using I think I've done my part here...it's about time someone else did some of the work here too. I'm going to my office and shutting the door, let me know when lunch is here and don't let Bob touch mine please, I don't think he's bathed in a week. The other day we were in the Executive washroom and he walked out without washing his hands after he took a crap the **** 'n scrounge...I think I'll get him transfered to Mississippi or something, probably fit right in with the rest of them **** 'n hillbillys......

I'm taking tomorrow off as vacation too by the way...
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Old 05-06-2008, 09:58 AM   #8
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Sarnali, your Committee-Fu is strong!
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Old 05-06-2008, 09:58 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sarnali2 View Post
The only reason I would watch womens tennis is to see if they're wearing knickers when they bend over.
You too?

'Course, I wouldn't watch men's tennis either.
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Old 05-06-2008, 10:13 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sachiwilson View Post
You too?

'Course, I wouldn't watch men's tennis either.
Ok Sachi, we get it: you're gay. And you have an Iron Butt. Anything else we need to know?
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