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Old 09-21-2010, 09:40 AM   #11
The_AirHawk
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Chuck Norris counted to infinity.... twice.
......WHILE having sex with me and my Wife.....
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Old 09-21-2010, 10:26 AM   #12
Kenneth_Moore
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I bought my kid a Chuck Norris joke book at Borders last year. I glanced at it at the bookstore. A few days later the school calls demanding I come in for a conference.

The kid took the book in and was showing it to some friends at lunch. Apparently a teacher decided to check it over. Those dopes had gone through and put a Post-it note on every single joke that was even slightly offensive, like "Chuck Norris' **** has it's own beard" and stuff like that. They wanted to know why I let my kid bring in obscene material. I told them they needed to get a sense of humor and find something more important to do. Good thing it was the last couple of weeks at Elementary for the kid.

You'd think there would be a Chuck Norris Exemption at public schools.
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Old 09-21-2010, 11:22 AM   #13
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I bought my kid a Chuck Norris joke book at Borders .......I told them they needed to get a sense of humor and find something more important to do.
You know, for bein' a professed Leftist Liberal Commie; you're not very Leftist........
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Old 09-21-2010, 11:26 AM   #14
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I bought my kid a Chuck Norris joke book at Borders last year. I glanced at it at the bookstore. A few days later the school calls demanding I come in for a conference.

The kid took the book in and was showing it to some friends at lunch. Apparently a teacher decided to check it over. Those dopes had gone through and put a Post-it note on every single joke that was even slightly offensive, like "Chuck Norris' **** has it's own beard" and stuff like that. They wanted to know why I let my kid bring in obscene material. I told them they needed to get a sense of humor and find something more important to do. Good thing it was the last couple of weeks at Elementary for the kid.

You'd think there would be a Chuck Norris Exemption at public schools.
Ahhh. Grammar school teachers. What would childhood be without them? Lucky for me they hadn't started labeling every other child 'learning disabled' and putting them all on cocaine derivatives in the 50s. I think the horror/scifi comics we used to draw and pass around at recess would earn kids several prescriptions and maybe shock treatments these days.

Someone has yet to explain to me how giving kids meth or cocaine derivatives "rebalances" their brain chemistry. Who ever knew that kids who couldn't sit still were missing schedule II drugs in their little brains?
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Old 09-21-2010, 11:36 AM   #15
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Someone has yet to explain to me how giving kids meth or cocaine derivatives "rebalances" their brain chemistry. Who ever knew that kids who couldn't sit still were missing schedule II drugs in their little brains?
Yeah, man. How could Nature have screwed THAT one up - unless the Cavemonkeys we evolved-from used to do it with THEIR kids, but those damned Christians screwed everything up.......
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Old 09-21-2010, 12:16 PM   #16
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Ahhh. Grammar school teachers. What would childhood be without them? Lucky for me they hadn't started labeling every other child 'learning disabled' and putting them all on cocaine derivatives in the 50s. I think the horror/scifi comics we used to draw and pass around at recess would earn kids several prescriptions and maybe shock treatments these days.

Someone has yet to explain to me how giving kids meth or cocaine derivatives "rebalances" their brain chemistry. Who ever knew that kids who couldn't sit still were missing schedule II drugs in their little brains?
You were lucky, kids had to pay for that **** with their lunch money when I was in school.
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Old 09-21-2010, 01:22 PM   #17
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WAY Off-topic Alert!


I dunno.

My 11-year old daughter is on Focalin during the school year. And lemme tell you, even the other kids in her class know when she forgets to take her pill in the morning!

She cannot focus on anything without her 'concentration' (her name for the pill.)

Apparently it is on her Mother's side of the family, as one cousin has it, and my BIL has it. The cousin has apparently 'outgrown' it, though, and is off the meds.

My BIL was 40-ish when the nephew was diagnosed, and when his Mom was asked for a family history, she realized her brother had always had some of the symptoms. So he goes in for a talk.

The Dr. said his 'survey' showed a very strong probability for ADD, and suggested he try an adult type of the meds. I called him a couple of days after, and he told me, "it was like I'd been watching a Black&White movie my whole life, and then someone changed to a color channel!" He could never sit and read a book. He absolutely devours them now.

Mind you, I think the medication is WAY overprescribed. But it's like a lot of other things that get abused.

Another weird thing about the ADD: My daughter and the two guys calm down when they drink a caffeinated beverage.
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Old 11-03-2010, 01:54 PM   #18
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The Boogieman checks under his bed for Chuck Norris every night.
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Old 11-03-2010, 01:54 PM   #19
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Little kids wear Superman underwear. Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear. (sorry, I double posted so I just put a new one here)
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Old 11-04-2010, 09:33 AM   #20
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When Chuck Norris leaves a room, he doesn't turn off the light. He turns on the dark.
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