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Old 03-10-2010, 09:59 AM   #1

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Default Morning funnies from Super Hunky

HIGH SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2009

Scenario 1:
Jack goes quail hunting before school, and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack.

1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car, and gets his new shotgun to show Jack.
2009 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail, and never sees his truck, or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students, and teachers.

Scenario 2:
Johnny, and Mark get into a fist fight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers.. Mark wins. Johnny, and Mark shake hands, and end up buddies.
2009 - Police called, and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest both Johnny, and Mark. They are both charged with assault, and both expelled, even though Johnny started it.

Scenario 3:
Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.
1957 - Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office, and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still, and does not disrupt class again..
2009 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The school gets extra money from the state, because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario 4:
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car, and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2009 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care, and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself, and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.

Scenario 5:
Mark gets a headache, and takes some aspirin to school.
1957 - Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock.
2009 - The police are called, and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs, and weapons.

Scenario 6:
Pedro fails high school English.
1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, and goes to college.
2009 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system, and Pedro's English teacher . English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway, but ends up mowing lawns for a living, because he cannot speak English.

Scenario 7:
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, and blows up a red ant bed..
1957 - Ants die.
2009 - ATF, Homeland Security, and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents -- and all siblings are removed from their home, and all computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad is placed on a terror watch list, and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario 8:
Johnny falls while running during recess, and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better, and goes on playing.
2009 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator, and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.
A gun is a tool, Marian; no better or no worse than any other tool: an axe, a shovel or anything. A gun is as good or as bad as the man using it. Remember that.
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Old 03-10-2010, 10:46 AM   #2
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Only 3 years for that b*tch? MY GOD SHE ACTUALLY TOUCHED A STUDENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is what happens when we let these liberals in our school boards!
"Carpe` Throttelum -Loud Suits Save Lives"

"He said he's farting because of his medication"...
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Old 03-10-2010, 11:05 AM   #3
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Scenario 9:
Longride gets a Knucklehead and puts loudass pipes on it. He rides home, blipping the throttle, rattling the neighbor's windows. The neighbor comes out and offers Longride a beer, and asks how much the exhaust kit was.
Longride gets a Buell and puts loudass pipes on it. He rides home, blipping the throttle. The neigbors can't hear him over their surround sound systems. Longride gets his own beer.
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Old 03-10-2010, 11:53 AM   #4
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Scenario 7 actually happened around here. Kids were putting dry ice and water into 2 liter bottles, then dropping them down the storm drains.

The blasts rattled windows. Cops, FBI and HS were involved.
Mongo just pawn in game of life.
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Old 03-10-2010, 12:11 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by pplassm View Post
Scenario 7 actually happened around here. Kids were putting dry ice and water into 2 liter bottles, then dropping them down the storm drains.

The blasts rattled windows. Cops, FBI and HS were involved.
Have you seen the vid on youtube where the guy goes and picks up a "dud" CO2 bomb? He's standing there, holding it by the neck, when it suddenly "disappears" from his hand (i.e. it went off). The dude dances-around a bit, then (fearfully) turns his head down to a look at his hand to see if it's still there (it is). The look of relief on his face is absolutely PRICELESS...........
Parfois, on fait pas semblant
Sometimes, it's not pretend
Oderint Dum Metuant
Let them hate so long as they fear
политики предпочитают безоружных крестьян
Politicians Prefer Unarmed Peasants
Nothing to see here, Citizen. Move along now...
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Old 03-10-2010, 04:31 PM   #6
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Great post. And to think I thought it was cool that grandma saw the Wright brothers to the Moon landing, look what I got instead. We're ****ed.
STN refugee
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