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Old 08-26-2009, 06:58 PM   #1
mscuddy
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Default Ice Road Boredom

As one who watches way too much TV anymore, I have to comment on the "Ice Road Truckers" program that seems to be on constantly, like some excrutiating marathon of boredom, akin to being stuck in your aunt Emma's Plymouth Lancer on a trip to Littlerock.

Oooh how scary! We might slide off the road and freeze! Or we might forget our tire chains! Or doze off...zzzzzzzz

Like watching paint dry. Can't they think up any better reality shows? Like "Las Vegas Hooker" or "Demo Derby Ladies Man"? Jeez, boring!
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Old 08-26-2009, 07:05 PM   #2
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Just be happy you don't have to watch the Scotch Tape Channel.

All Scotch Tape uses. All the time.
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Old 08-27-2009, 04:27 AM   #3
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What is TV?
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Old 08-27-2009, 05:45 AM   #4
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We're cancelling our cable, keeping the internets though. We have a bazzillion channels but only watch 3 or 4 so what's the point. I should be able to download or Netflix anything worth seeing anyway.
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Old 08-27-2009, 07:03 AM   #5
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Yeah that one is mental popcorn, not the worst though. now they have a show on Swordfish fishermen(?), I guess the east coast boys wanted their own show. To be honest I didn't think there was that much of a commercial market for Swordfish, I figured it was more a sport fishing thing. Shows what I know, maybe they can have two boats duking it out with gaff hooks or something
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Old 08-27-2009, 07:09 AM   #6
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Yeah that one is mental popcorn, not the worst though. now they have a show on Swordfish fishermen(?), I guess the east coast boys wanted their own show. To be honest I didn't think there was that much of a commercial market for Swordfish, I figured it was more a sport fishing thing. Shows what I know, maybe they can have two boats duking it out with gaff hooks or something

Get a couple of schooners and recreate some pirate battles. That'd make for some good TV.
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Old 08-27-2009, 07:31 AM   #7
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Get a couple of schooners and recreate some pirate battles. That'd make for some good TV.

No there you go, That would be interesting!
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Old 08-27-2009, 07:33 AM   #8
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My 10 year old princess looked at me last night and asked, "Dad, why would we want to watch a TV show about people losing weight?"

I told her that was a question for the ages...

We are big fans of America's Got Talent. I wish somebody would bring back the old variety show format. Heck, Leno could tweak his new show to bring in more acts, but his show is too late and not especially kid-friendly.

At least AGT is interesting, and you get to see people with amazing talents and abilities. And, a lot that don't.
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Old 08-27-2009, 07:48 AM   #9
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There was this Clinker that the M-I-L and Wife had on (the History Channel) when I went over to Mum's house the other day - it was JUST like the pile of steaming OCC that Discovery had(has, whatever). Only, these guys take someone's old half-finished Hotrod and repaint it or somesuchshyte. Don't know the name.

Paint-weasel (with like 25-years paint-and-body experience) puts like 3-gallons of primer on the hood, then goes off to masturbate and smoke for awhile, then "Paul Sr." (not his name, but you couldn't tell him from Teutel 'cept for the shaved head) comes out and kicks shyte around for awhile, screamin' at the top of his lungs (sound familiar?). Then, proceeds to school Paint-weasel and the camera about priming with psuedo-techno-talk. He later applies Aircraft-stripper to the primer, then kicks shyte around screamin' at the top of HIS lungs, then goes off to smoke and masturbate again.

Anyway, then there was like FIVE of these so-called "Automotive Experts" with something like 362-years experience between them; all gathered 'round a 50's Ford pickup with what appears to be a Winsdor in it (hard to tell - the shots are dark and they only show a closeups of hands and long-shots of fools), trying to figure-out why it wouldn't run.............

So, Electrickery-engineer tells the camera all-about kettering ignition. Only he doesn't know how it really works. Mechankikikal-engineer decides the problem is the carb (the whole while he was pumping the linkage like his boyfriend's ****), and decided he was gonna pull it (major surgery here!). So, without even cracking it open, he walks around with it in his hand for ten minutes, and talks about how this here carb is supposed to have numbers, etc - and OH LOOKY HERE - AIN'T NO NUMBERS! "I can't make this work without NUMBERS!". So, they go to a "Carb Expert" down at the local Speed Shop, who essentially meets them at the door with a $900 Holley Dominator in his hand, that they take back and the five of them install.

Then still can't get it to run. (not even a cough)

So M-E pumps-away on the linkage like a Fluffer in a home-porno (cut to interior shot of the truck - accel pedal wigglin' a "come-hither") when finally someone puts the coil-wire back on the truck.........

Cut to Paul Sr. (still not his real name) explainin' to the camera that "If we hadn't replaced that carb, we would have NEVER gotten it Running......." (Psst! Paul! Hey Paul! I could've gotten it runnin' with the old carb - as well as most of the gang at MO, and 25-million OTHER gearheads across the country...........)

Cut to shot of E-E and M-E beatin' on Customer's truck (that's been sitting for 10+ years) without benefit of any oil change or checking fluids, belts, or hoses.


Meh. "Reality TV". I don't get the fascination America has with it.
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Old 08-27-2009, 07:55 AM   #10
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Meh. "Reality TV". I don't get the fascination America has with it.

Sounds like they filmed it at BillyBob's in Mississippi or some BS.
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