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Old 06-18-2009, 08:44 AM   #1
seruzawa
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Default Govt employees

A government employee sat in his office, and out of boredom decided to see what was inside his old filing cabinet. He poked through the contents and came across an old brass lamp.

"This will look good on my mantle," he said, and took it home with him.
While polishing the lamp, a genie appeared and, as usual, granted him
three wishes. "I would like an ice-cold Coke right now." He gets his Coke and drinks it.

Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish. "I wish to be on an island with beautiful women, who find me
irresistible." Suddenly, he's on an island with gorgeous women eyeing him lustfully.

He tells the genie his third and last wish. "I wish I'd never have to work again."

Instantly, he was back in his government office.



You Know You Work for the Government If...

* When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie.
* You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.
* Your biggest loss from a system crash is you lose your best jokes.
* Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.
* You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.
* It no longer amazes you that computer security is more important than having computers.
* Your office computer was just upgraded to a 200 MHz Pentium this year.
* Computer specialists know less about computers than your teenager.
* Lunch is like another scheduled meeting, only shorter.
* You and your coequals always consume the free food left over from VIP meetings.
* You're forced to park your car a mile from the office because of all the commanders, customers, designated contractor, VIP's, employees of the month/quarter/year and visitor, parking spaces by the main entrance.
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Old 06-18-2009, 08:48 AM   #2
pushrod
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Too true, amigo!
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Old 06-18-2009, 10:40 AM   #3
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Well, ya know, I work for Uncle, after retiring from the Army, and I've got a thing or too to say about that!






It's all true, especially the part about parking.

I used to service PCs on the floor. Unbelievable how many dopes are literally sleeping on the job. Reporting them does nothing. "Zey are essential to zee var effort".
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Old 06-18-2009, 05:50 PM   #4
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It probably won't make me any more popular to bring up now that I'm a WS.....
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Old 06-18-2009, 09:35 PM   #5
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I worked for the state for 12 years at the University of Washington it wasn't a bad job but you got slammed with every leftwing newthink policy going, from a moment of silence for the Hiroshima "victims" to being told I was inherently racist because I was white, more so because I am a Brit. Oddly enough the fact that I was in a long term relationship with a black lady at the time didn't seem to count in my favor.

I finally left there for private industry and promptly doubled my income. Granted the UW job did see me out of some pretty hard times so it wasn't all bad...
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Old 06-18-2009, 09:39 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sarnali2 View Post
being told I was inherently racist because I was white, more so because I am a Brit. Oddly enough the fact that I was in a long term relationship with a black lady at the time didn't seem to count in my favor.
Because you were OPRESSING HER, YOU RACIST TYRANT!!! How Dare you take advantage of the ancient Slave/Master relationship and use her as your "Brown Sugar"...............
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Old 06-19-2009, 05:04 AM   #7
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Gold Coast slave ship bound for the cotton fields.
Sold in a market down in New Orleans
Scarred old slaver knows he’s doin’ all right
Hear him whip the women just around midnight.
Brown Sugar - how come you dance so good? Huh?
Brown Sugar - just like a young girl should - Uh huh!

Drums beatin’ cold - English blood runs hot!
Lady of the house wond’rin’ where it’s gonna stop.
House-boy knows that he’s doin’ all right.
You shoulda heard ‘em just around midnight!
Brown Sugar - how come you dance so good, now?
Brown Sugar - just like a young girl should, now. Yeah!

Brown Sugar - how come you dance so good, now?
Brown Sugar - just like a young girl should, now. Yeah!

I bet your Mama was a tent-show queen
And all her boyfriends were sweet sixteen.
I’m no schoolboy but I know what I like -
You shoula heard ‘em just around midnight.
Brown Sugar - how come you dance so good? Yeah!
Brown Sugar - just like a young girl should! Yeah!
Brown Sugar - how come you dance so good, now?
Brown Sugar - just like a young girl should, now. Yeah!
Brown Sugar - how come you dance so good, now?
Brown Sugar - just like a young girl should, now. Yeah!
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Old 06-19-2009, 07:18 AM   #8
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All I can say is we're all the same color when the lights are out..........
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Old 06-19-2009, 01:41 PM   #9
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All I can say is we're all the same color when the lights are out..........
"There are only Grey Cats in the Dark.............."

-Ben Franklin (a REAL Ladies Man)
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Sometimes, it's not pretend
Oderint Dum Metuant
Let them hate so long as they fear
политики предпочитают безоружных крестьян
Politicians Prefer Unarmed Peasants
Nothing to see here, Citizen. Move along now...
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