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Old 06-17-2009, 07:47 AM   #1
seruzawa
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Default Are you a Democrat, Republican or Redneck?

Answer the following question then verify your affiliation from the answers below:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

Suddenly, a Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife and charges at you.

You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP.

You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

.................................................. .. ............

THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN:

Democrat's Answer :

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

.. .................................................. .... ..............

Republican's Answer:

BANG!

.................................................. .................................................. .... ............

Redneck's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click... (Sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hydrashocks?!"

Son: "Can I shoot the next one?!"

Wife: "You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!"
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Old 06-17-2009, 08:07 AM   #2
pushrod
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Does it have to be a terrorist?

Does he have to be armed?

Can I use a third magazine?

Sorry. Just trying to get the scenario clear in my head.
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Old 06-17-2009, 11:34 AM   #3
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One shot one kill.

It's cheaper that way.
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Old 06-17-2009, 11:50 AM   #4
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More bullets means more to clean up before the CSI arrives.
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Old 06-17-2009, 11:53 AM   #5
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Terrorist is kind of a harsh word, isn't it? I'd just talk nicely to this person and everything will be ok. Try it. It works for 'The Messiah'.
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Old 06-17-2009, 11:59 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by longride View Post
Terrorist is kind of a harsh word, isn't it? I'd just talk nicely to this person and everything will be ok. Try it. It works for 'The Messiah'.

Indeed, can we even say "terrorist" anymore?
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Old 06-17-2009, 12:01 PM   #7
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Don't get me wrong, I'm a .45 fan from way back, just because 'having to shoot someone more than once is silly'.

But, there is something to be said about 'Group Therapy'.

Recalls the story of the Sheriff over there, North of Orlando. They caught up with a 'armed and dangerous' guy that, IIRC, had already killed somebody. When the reporter asked why they shot the guy, like, 37 times; he said, 'we ran out of bullets'.
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Old 06-17-2009, 12:07 PM   #8
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.357 mag, still the "one shot" king of the hill.
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Old 06-17-2009, 02:55 PM   #9
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....But Guys,

A triple-tap before he hit's the Planet gives you such neat bragging rights.....

Oh, and the Libertarian's answer is the same as the redneck, but with the addition that, "No government money was spent on these hollow-points!"
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Old 06-17-2009, 03:12 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mscuddy View Post
.357 mag, still the "one shot" king of the hill.


Exactly, my first thought would be who stuck this antique in my holster and where the hell's my .357?

I'd try aiming for the midsection and see if I could trip his suicide vest, Oh wait, they only put those on children and retards.......
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