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Old 01-23-2009, 09:11 AM   #1
Kenneth_Moore
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Post Cocaine and Motorcycle Sales - A Good Fit?

Moke's comments on sales people knowingly putting riders on bikes they can't handle are thought provoking. I spent a year selling Harleys in Ft. Liquordalec and frankly, I'd have sold an Ultra Classic to a drunken midget if I could get them financed. It's nothing to be proud of, but when your income is based on commission, the nuances of matching the rider to the bike get pushed aside. I've got quite a few stories from my short career selling bikes, but here's one of my favorites:

When somebody called into the dealership to ask about buying a bike, the receptionist would either make a PA announcement for "Sales line one," or, if you were really nice to her, she'd page you and give you the call. The receptionist liked me, and sent me a "hot call." I got this guy on the line and he says he's ready to buy a Harley, what to we have for $12k?

The deal at Rossmeyer was such that if you sold a used bike, your commission was a percentage of the difference between what we owned it for versus what you could get for it. This meant you could make a lot more money selling a used bike. I told the guy I had plenty of great bikes and good financing. He said he'd be paying cash.

About an hour later, a pretty scruffy looking dude shows up and says he's the guy with $12k for a Harley. It took about 5 minutes to figure out that the guy was utterly whacked on coke. He acted like he had ants crawling all over his body, but was forcing himself not to scrape them off. I'd picked out a '98 Dyna with a windshield and saddlebags for the gent.

We'd given $6,500 for it on trade, so if I could sell it for $10,500 he'd have money left for tax, title, helmet, and whatever else the finance manager could hook him for. And I'd make a nice chunk o' change! He loved the bike and agreed to buy it, but first he had to run back to his hotel and get his money.

Hotel?? As we walked out to the parking lot, I asked him if he thought it would be a good idea to leave that much cash in a hotel room, but he just kind of mumbled something and got in his little pickup. Instead of driving away, he pulled around to the back of the place for a few minutes, where it appeared he was trying to find something under the dash...ahem. Then he drove off without even looking at me as he went by.

I figured that was the end of that, but about 45 minutes later he was back with a fat envelope full of cash. His eyes were even wider and more bugged out than before, and now the invisible ants were biting him. He said he needed a trailer because he didn't have a ride to get the bike back to the hotel. I guess I gave him a WTF? look, because he started telling me (at 100mph) about how he'd been in an accident at a construction site in Ohio, and had gotten an insurance settlement for $150k. He took the money in cash, got in his truck, and drove to Fort Lauderdale where he knew some guys. Some guys who were coke dealers, I presume.

His said his GF back in Ohio was coming down to join the party the next morning, and he was going to show her a great time by riding his new Harley with her down to the Keys. So, while he was in the Finance office I found him a rusty old single rail trailer for $500 at one of the other Rossmeyer stores nearby.

By the time he came out of the Finance office, loaded with every sales add-on ever thought of (tire road hazard, extended warranty, yada yada yada) I had his trailer hooked up and the bike loaded aboard. We gave him the tie-downs for free. Then he tells me he needs me to follow him over to the hotel and help him unload the bike from the trailer. Sure, WTF, I'd just made my single largest commission to date, so I followed him to a cheesy motel on A1A and got the bike down for him. I showed him the basics on starting it etc., but the poor dude was so buzzed and shaky that he could barely balance the bike. By this time my skin was crawling from the contact buzz, so I bailed and went back to work.

The next day the receptionist paged me for a call. It was the coke dude. "I want to bring the motorcycle back." You can imagine what went through my head when I heard that. I told him we didn't do returns or refunds, and asked him what the hell the problem was. He said: "I went riding on the beach last night and it wasn't any fun. I'm almost out of money and I really shouldn't have bought the bike." I said I was sorry, but there was nothing I could do.

About an hour later I see his truck, trailer and bike in tow, pull into the parking lot. This time he's accompanied by a chubby woman with dirty white shorts and a muffin top halter top...an image indelibly burned into my brain forever. The two of them came bustling into the dealership a full coke speed. I walked up to them and started to say hi, and the girl looks at me and says: "you the ******* who sold him that bike? We ain't gonna talk to yewwww, we gonna talk to the ******* that runs this place." I said of course, I'd be happy to get the Sales Manager, please have a seat in the sales area. "We ain't gonna sit nowhere cept in the office where yewww gonna give him his money back!"

By this time the Sales Manager came out of his office to see what the racket was. The Shrew from Hell started tearing into him, telling him they'd cheated poor Coke Boy out of his money, sold him a POS bike, charged him too much, and my favorite part: "you shoulda known he didn't need no Harley Davidson!"

The Sales Manager took them back in his office. I'm watching the classic "bag of money with wings" fly out the window...thinking my big comission was history. After about a half an hour in the office, the manager came out and went to the back office. He came back with a brown envelope, and told me to unhook the trailer and put the bike into the service area. The cocaine kids grabbed their envelope, climbed in their truck and drove away.

I soon learned that the sales manager had bought the bike back from them for $6,500! He kept my comission intact, all the fees and charges for the warranty etc., but in a gesture of good will and outstanding customer service, gave them the full price of $500 for the rusty bike trailer.

Sometime I'll write up the story of when "Toilet Taxi Buys Two Choppers (and a trailer!) On Christmas Eve." They still tell the new sales recruits about that one at the dealership.
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Last edited by mscuddy : 01-23-2009 at 11:04 AM. Reason: Paragraph issues. Results from too much cocain
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Old 01-23-2009, 10:47 AM   #2
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They weren't ants, they were scorpions, dude. And you didn't give me back the FULL price of the trailer, either......................
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Old 01-23-2009, 01:58 PM   #3
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My ol' ladies gonna kick your ****'n ass you prick and I'm ganna be laf-fin mother ****er....ain't that right baby? ...(sniiiiiiiif)... ****er.....we'll get some 40's too, you find the keys yet? ....(sniiiiif)....
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Old 01-23-2009, 02:32 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by sarnali2 View Post
My ol' ladies gonna kick your ****'n ass you prick and I'm ganna be laf-fin mother ****er....ain't that right baby? ...(sniiiiiiiif)... ****er.....we'll get some 40's too, you find the keys yet? ....(sniiiiif)....
Best post! ROFLMAO!
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Old 01-23-2009, 03:09 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kenneth_Moore View Post
Moke's comments on sales people knowingly putting riders on bikes they can't handle are thought provoking. . . . ..
Dood, if your at work, you have a lot of free time. But very good story! I'v come accross this type of customer before.
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Last edited by sachiwilson : 01-23-2009 at 04:27 PM. Reason: snipped for MOKE
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Old 01-23-2009, 03:21 PM   #6
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Hey Moke. When quoting a long post feel free to snip the middle out of it.
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Old 01-23-2009, 07:06 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by MOKE1K View Post
Dood, if your at work, you have a lot of free time.
It's therapy for me. Since I found MO, I don't strangle puppies when I come home from work.
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Old 01-24-2009, 05:25 AM   #8
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It's therapy for me. Since I found MO, I don't strangle puppies when I come home from work.
Yikes? The local Harley shop accross the street has a BBQ and bar joint located right on their property. We frequant the place sometimes after work and see people drinking beers having a good time and salesman closing deals right their, in the bar. Boy you wanna talk about an easy close. "Let me get you guys some drinks while you think about my offer".
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Old 01-24-2009, 06:44 PM   #9
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'nother beer for the road? We should have er prepped and ready for ya here any second.
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Old 01-26-2009, 06:08 PM   #10
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Hey. I know that guy.
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