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Old 12-05-2003, 02:51 PM   #1
ebass
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Default Re: Press Release That Never Was

Hey Gabe, how come I didn't get any f*ckin' adjectives! I FAXed in my request for press credentials on time and everything too!



Is it because I'm too fat and slow?





Slothfully yours,



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Old 12-05-2003, 03:37 PM   #2
wrecks
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Default Re: Press Release That Never Was

In a violent campaign to out-hyperbole each other's hyperbole, moto journalists have reached a hyperbole critical mass in which no more hyperbolic adjectives or adverbs can be concieved.



Top motojourno officials are considering a desperate, last-minute switch from cliche hyperbole to "ridiculously vague metaphors" to fill the gaps between re-hashed manufacturer press-release marketing jargon in their "articles". Mitch Boehm was "perched atop a motorcycle, rather than sitting in it" and therefore could not be reached for comment.
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Old 12-05-2003, 03:56 PM   #3
GogglesPaisano
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Default Re: Press Release That Never Was

Now if only they could lend a few new adjectives to the automotive press.



It seems that every new sports car has a "sonorous" exhaust note, "handles back roads with aplomb", and features greatly increased "torsional rigidity".



Now let's see if MO refers to the next aggressive sportbike's ergos as a "torture rack" with a "plank" for a seat. I gotta say the Mitch Boehm comment cracked my ass up...





No seriously, it's got a big crack in it. (_|_)







-=Goggles=-
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Old 12-05-2003, 04:20 PM   #4
Vlad
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Default This just in....

In an extraordinary show of unity between moto journalists, the editors of BIKE magazine are considering sending a delegation to Los Angeles to teach the use of "negative" words to the magazine community. The journalists in attendance will learn how to convert mealy-mouthed phrases like "The helmet lock can be a little difficult to use" to a more accurate description, such as "The bloke who designed the bloody helmet lock ought to have a full face shoved up his arse." Phrases such as "the suspension uses components of moderate quality" will be changed to "on rough pavement this bike rides like a hobby horse being piloted by a four year old on a triple dose of amphetamines." Journalists will also learn how to block out the whines and moans coming from the ad sales department.



Francis
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Old 12-05-2003, 04:26 PM   #5
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Default Re: Press Release That Never Was

Eclectic sarcasm, let it flow!

Great piece!

It whom it was directed to, I would take no offense, but with a gram or two of salt and go on.

A little free speech like it or not, and pay your dues and you can do it too!

Keep up the good work MO writers and MOFOÂ’s.

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Old 12-05-2003, 04:57 PM   #6
ebass
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Default In all seriousness...

... Gabe brings up a good point. Writing a motorcycle (or automotive) piece is a lot like writing a love song. It's really all been said before, which makes it extremely tempting to just get lazy and regurgitate the same crap, cash the check and go buy some beer. The handful of original voices, such as John Burns, who bring a distinctive style and point of view to their work are all too few and far between. It ain't easy folks. But it sure does help to have readers like Gabe pitching in and bringing a DIY approach to the situation. Frankly, I almost always enjoy the wild and unruly reader feedback food fight at MO more than the "professional" print zine's unending buffet of lockstep dogma.



Hey, maybe our new slogan should be...



MO: The kaoroke machine of moto-journalism



Catchy, no?









Domo Arigato,





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Old 12-05-2003, 07:59 PM   #7
KPaulCook
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Default All I want for Christmas is a Bike Review.

OK guys, I am getting withdrawls. How many weeks has it been since the last shootout or even a review? I miss those great photos, videos. But most of the all the hard hitting, wheelie popping reporting that can only come from MO.
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Old 12-05-2003, 08:44 PM   #8
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Default Re: In all seriousness...

I got a good lesson in that last week riding and then writing with you guys...it IS really hard. But I think writing honest impressions of the bike you rode, from a layman's perspective, is what the readers really want...as long as they feel you rode it as hard or harder than they ever would.



If this is Karaoke, I'll sing Billy Paul instead of Johnny Cash...
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Old 12-05-2003, 09:36 PM   #9
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Default Re: All I want for Christmas is a Bike Review.

Sorry KP, we've been too busy reading AL Gore propaganda, to actually do any REAL riding, writing or working around here.



Seriously.... Look at the time-spamp on this post. Fonzie and I are here burning the (post) midnight oil to wrap-up a major 5-bike comparo. - Sean
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Old 12-06-2003, 03:08 AM   #10
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Default Quick ... hide the high-quality writing !

I say postings like this are very dangerous. We risk letting the general public know that motorcyclists can read, write creatively -AND- use computers. It could ruin our image.
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