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View Poll Results: Did Aliens Abduct MO Staffers?
Definitely 61 22.85%
I wish they would 57 21.35%
Where the phrack is blip, anyway? 49 18.35%
I was abducted once, it sucked 20 7.49%
I was abducted once, it ruled 29 10.86%
Dang! That's a big fat (alien) ass! 51 19.10%
Voters: 267. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 06-14-2002, 06:33 AM   #1
flying_hun
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Default Aliens are a ruse!

The truth is out there, but I think it's probably a weeklong (or longer!) bender on Burns' Uniflite. Sober up, boys, and get your butts to work! There may be a UFO involved, but in this case it stands for UniFliteOblivion.
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Old 06-14-2002, 06:41 AM   #2
erik_squires
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Default Squandered?

How could money spent on women and booze be considered "squandered" ?
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Old 06-14-2002, 06:43 AM   #3
mconlon
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Default Re: Disappearance of MO staff Shrouded in Mystery!

As funny as this is, it doesn't really answer any of the legitimate questions raised... and I'm guessing there are some scowling subscribers out there theat don't even find this funny...



C'mon, 'fess-up guys, what's going on? Hello? Bueller? Bueller?



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Old 06-14-2002, 07:08 AM   #4
KPaulCook
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Default Squid Cook issues statement via lawyer

Johnny Cochran, attorney representing K. Paul Cook, held a press conference to deny rumors that Cook had any thing to do with the disappearance of one Mr. Burns, alias BLM, editor in chief of the higly regarded Motorcycle Online Website. "Everyone knows I have had my problems with the guy and there is no truth that I dared him to a duel using Buell Blasts at high noon in the MO parking lot".

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Old 06-14-2002, 07:50 AM   #5
markszrz
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Default Re: Squid Cook issues statement via lawyer

LOL !
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Old 06-14-2002, 07:51 AM   #6
Patrick-of-the-Hills
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Default Re: Disappearance of MO staff Shrouded in Mystery!

Things I wish the break could be blamed on:



1. Munich-to-Geneva-to-Rome literbike V-twin vs. triple vs. inline-four megatest. Notify the Pulitzer committee.



2. Tijuana to Cancun on both lithe little dual-sports and big adventure tourers, with a lengthy sidebar involving tequila comparisons.



3. Minime becomes waaaay more mini: Shrunk down to 1 cm tall, he infiltrates the Honda GP camp to tell us what's really going on with that unstoppable V-5 from an unusually close perspective. Subesquent delay results from extensive debriefing of what he's found, as well as problems reenlarging him to normal size. (The fifth software map for the Sagem growth injectors still isn't right.)



What really probably happened:



1. Deepak had a burst of misguided higher consciousness and dictated that in keeping with feng shui traditions, all vehicles parked in his building could only travel east; still awaiting completion of staff global circumnavigation.



2. Burns is currently being kept in a nice soft happy place with many friendly people all around. Coincidental simultaneous reports of a short naked middle-aged guy running along the Ortega Freeway babbling about trail-braking, with a potent mix of Paxil and THC in his system, have nothing to do with this, of course.



3. The insurance company has something to do with it. (When in doubt, blame either your tires or the insurance company.)



4. Buncha bike-ridin' wine-drinkin' World Cup-watchin' Euro-wannabe goofs the staff is, they're all staying up too late and are thus not able to write anything the next day.



5. Microsoft bought them out, and lengthy Satanic soul-selling rite is still in progress.
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Old 06-14-2002, 07:56 AM   #7
dominatr37
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Default Re: Disappearance of MO staff Shrouded in Mystery!

And here I though Johnnie B and friends all just ran out of things to say (Or maybe every Motorcycle Manufacturer just got tired of having the bikes they hand MO to test come back in pieces in the back of Burnsies Jagrolet) damn, just when this sight was beginning to get interesting too. Where do I sign up to get my $12 bucks back? Or do we have to storm the MO mansion/bath house en masse? (What a God awful image that just gave me, ugghh.) So what is it Minime? Are you guys all down in Tijuana drinking and wenching our hard earned $12 away? Or is Burns merely making you guys invest in them new fangled back scratchers with the titanium teeth? Yeehaw!
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Old 06-14-2002, 08:01 AM   #8
BBD_Racing
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Default Re: Disappearance of MO staff Shrouded in Mystery!

Hey, who needs the MO writers anyway?



What with Sean and Patrick writing those bits every bit as funny (moreso, even) as Burnsie's best and everybody on the BBS being absolute world class experts on all things moto, We The Subscribers could just write the mag ourselves.



Or, we could just stay lazy, drink beer and take pot shots at MO.



Option 2 seems like more fun.
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Old 06-14-2002, 08:04 AM   #9
BBD_Racing
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Default Re: Squandered?

Simple. Just look to the second definition of the word "squandered" in the dictionary:



To spend money on true meaning in life, i.e. women and booze.
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Old 06-14-2002, 08:13 AM   #10
sherm
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Default Re: Disappearance of MO staff Shrouded in Mystery!

Newest candidate for the purest journalistic zero on record. I can see a bunch of "what can you buy for 12 bucks?" jokes coming out of this.
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