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Old 01-04-2003, 03:18 PM   #51
jamesohoh7
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Default Re: The Roadhouse

Haaaa!!!... good one!!
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Old 01-04-2003, 05:38 PM   #52
Randy_P_Moran
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Default Re: The Roadhouse

I'm sitting near the bar, quietly sipping my Black Bush and chatting with some local talent about the day's ride; over 400 miles of the best twisty roads one can find in northern and West Virginia, all dispatched with aplomb astride my trusty Suzuki SV 650--65 screamin' ponies and the bonestock suspension, all I ever need to leave most far behind in the curvy stuff.



There are a lot of Cruiser types in here tonight, most of them pleasant enough and happy to keep their noses in their own beer, where they belong. Some of the Harley guys try to give off that "I'm a badass" vibe. I ignore it and continue to ply the girl beside me with cheap liquor. I hear she lives in a trailerpark nearby.



"That'll be convenient later," I think to myself as I look toward the bar entrance, anticipating the kinky, booze-fueled romp.



A fat guy walks in, sporting the usual official H-D fetish gear, appearing just a hair's width away from coming completely out of the closet. The chaps, the tassels, the barely-scuffed road boots...I'd laugh if it wasn't so goddam sad.



One of the poofs at the end of bar lisps, "Hey Highwayman, we missed you at the NAMBLA lingerie fashion show last night! It was faboo! Oh, and I've got the butt plug you ordered at the last one. Meet me in the men's room!"



Highwayguy blushes quickly and pretends not to hear as he bobs and weaves his way over to the bartender. A whispered exchange follows and I'm discomfited slightly as I realize the barkeep has pointed him my way...this is starting to look like a classic "Gay bar mixup," and I'm not looking forward to explaining to some fat queen that he's gonna have to get his daily protein elsewhere.



"Hey, Jap rider," he squeaks as he approaches, "You parked in my spot outside. You're gonna have ta move yer crappy Jap bike, Jappity-jap-jap." He's staring right at me, and it's clear that, underneath all the crappy boutique leather and fake tattoos, there's just a scared little boy who'd just as soon drop to his calloused knees and give me a warm, wet "I'm your ***** forever."



"Dude, do yourself a favor and get away from me," I tell him, as I turn my attention back to the floozie. Highwayguy uses this opportunity to fling an ashtray at me, with a throwing arm motion reminiscent of my sister's. As the ashtray glances off my head, I try not to laugh. Reluctantly, I stand up, taking special care to move my whiskey out of harms way.



"Ok, man, you've convinced me," I say. "I'll move the bike. Just don't throw anything else at me, OK sport?"



I make my way to the front door, hoping he'll follow. He does, of course, going on and on about "Pearl Harbor" and "atrocities' and all kinds of idiotic ramblings, and my good mood turns bad. I can handle the violence--makes me happy, actually--but the stupidity really pisses me off. As I get to my bike I reach into the special bag I've mounted on the side. I pull out the Louisville Slugger, yank "Highwayman" by the collar of his Official H-D jacket and hold him above the street. I turn and wave the bat to the horrified onlookers, all his NAMBLA buddies. I yell, "DO ANY OF YOU RETARDED PIECES OF ***** WANT SOME OF THIS?" They look away, unwilling to help their brother in man-boy love. In one smooth motion (remember: riding bikes is all about smoothness), I bounce his head off the trunk of a nearby car and do my best Manny Ramirez imitation; I mean, I swing for the goddamn fences.



I look down as he lies in the gutter, a mess of blood, spit, and teeth and I say, quietly, "I'll be back here tomorrow night, *****. I'd better not see you around here anymore."
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Old 01-04-2003, 06:05 PM   #53
KPaulCook
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Default We weren't talking about GoldWings but in any case I'll defend the Wing

"I only need you to answer one question to answer "why anyone would want a Harley". " Longride you change the subject by asking another question. Where is the "logic" in that. But let me defend the Goldwing. Lets talk price/performance shall we:
[*] 1/4 mile 12.78seconds @ 103.3 mph vs H-D H-D FXDX Dyna Super Glide Sport 13.54 @ 96.5 *
[*] Roll on 60-80 5.9 seconds vs H-D S.E. Road Glide ('00) 6.71*



If you have ever seen a precision team of Goldwings you will know there is no Harley with its capabilities that can match the Goldwings agility.



*Motorcyclist: http://www.motorcyclistonline.com/performancedata/







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Old 01-04-2003, 06:08 PM   #54
KPaulCook
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Default Re: Buy American? Buy a Goldwing (tm)

Right on man. The Goldwing is an awesome machine in the right hands. I saw a demostration of that when a MSF instructor went through the test course with his Wing. The guy was great and the machine is definitely well balanced.
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Old 01-04-2003, 06:19 PM   #55
KPaulCook
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Default More praise for the Wing

http://www.cycleworld.com/xp6/CycleW...est.xml?body=5
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Old 01-04-2003, 06:30 PM   #56
riles
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Default Re: E-H Vs. Royal Star Feedback

I went to a Harley Davidson dealership today for the first time and it was like going to the Mall, the whole thing was very commercial. They had everything from Harley Davidson baby clothes to Harley Davidson shoe polish. It was nothing like the Honda dealership which feels like a motorcycle shop. This place felt like the Galleria. It had tile floors and salesmen with grey ponytails that followed you around. I think the Highwayman is a well paid marketing ploy. The whole thing made me sick. This is not what motorcycling is all about. I hope Harley Davidson is making alot of money off of the working middle class sence of patriotism. They were asking over 21K for a 17k V rod. Dont you guys get it. You are being played like fools. The Highwayman drives a BMW.
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Old 01-04-2003, 06:54 PM   #57
Betamax
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Default Re: The Roadhouse

LOL!



I was going to parody it too, till I read your post...I can't top that. Holy crap, that's funny.
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Old 01-04-2003, 07:20 PM   #58
Betamax
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Default they're buying the brand

Some bikers don't just buy a bike, they buy a brand. Many (not all) Harley owners buy the brand because of the rebel/outlaw image associated with it. By their act of purchasing the brand, they hope to also gain all the attributes associated with the brand.



A simple purchase thus allows accountants like the Highwayman to pretend to a macho lifestyle that they otherwise have no part of.



This kind of thinking isn't restricted to cruiser owners. Many a squid has bought a GSXR for similar kinds of reasons: they're buying a brand and everything associated with that brand.



As for me, I wanted a cruiser and considered buying a Harley, but I'm more concerned with function rather than form. Harleys are reasonably priced if you're buying the brand, but they're way overpriced if you're just buying the motorycle. I bought a Honda Magna instead. It's ugly but functional, fairly powerful, and reasonably priced. It doesn't stand out from the crowd and it's never mistaken for a Harley, and I'm happy on both counts.
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Old 01-04-2003, 07:28 PM   #59
Betamax
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Default the Highwayman is a well paid marketing ploy.

Could be. People shouldn't forget that Harley is a modern company with a deliberate marketing plan in place. Somewhere at HD, guys in blue suits are sitting around and plotting how best to exploit the patriotism of the American people in their marketing campaign. Believe it.
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Old 01-04-2003, 07:59 PM   #60
rvfrules
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Default Re: The Roadhouse

Why doesn't the Highwayman get upset about German bikes?



Maybe because:

A) BMW owns about 1 percent of the US motorcycle market.

B) BMW doesn't churn out Harley clones.



And his harley friend just beat the ***** out of a fellow American, not a Japanese. Doesn't sound too racist to me.



No shortage of racists here in sunny Japan where I live. Hell, I'd even be required by law to change my name if I ever wanted to get citizenship. Can't get much more racist than that....



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