Today’s Butchered Classic, from the Facebook group of the same name, is this ex-Honda CBX1000, thrashed to within an inch of its life by Bad Seeds Motorcycles of Japan. Wait, actually they are in France, which explains a lot. What was once a beautiful motorcycle and the apogee of Honda engineering circa 1980, is now a moldering mess of mismatched appendages that appear to have been rear-ended by a deep-South Senatorial candidate.

The swingarm appears to have come from some kind of earthmover; the too-big Öhlins dirtbike shocks look like they’re prepared to raise it for ships to sail under, and the whole ungainly upturned rear end carries on the nautical theme by looking like HMS Victory sailing away from the Battle of Trafalgar, badly shot up.

The piece de resistance of ratbuggery, though, has to be that Sportster gas tank, which fits the rest of the bike like a lead apron fits your choice of Kardashian. At least the torturous skinny clip-ons probably won’t allow enough leverage to steer into a massive deathwobble more than three or four times a mile, courtesy of grippy modern tires mated with a rickety old mild steel frame. And nobody who doesn’t live out of a shopping cart will be wanting to steal this CBX.

The six-cylinder looks magnificent, though, in all its finned, Keihin flat-slided glory, and I suppose it’s good someone, however detached from reality, is out riding the thing. Mind if we take it for a quick spin? Actually it’s not that bad. Wait, yes it is. I’d ride it though. You?

  • Starmag

    From the link: “Most of us always knew Viñales would win a race, even if he didn’t, whereas Iannone always knew he was going to win a race, even if we didn’t. As for Miller, neither he nor we can be sure he will repeat his 2016 success.” Bruce-worthy gold.

  • 12er

    In a heartbeat… Like it better than the Arch bikes

    • Gabriel Owens

      Same.

    • Gruf Rude

      Yep. It’s a Honda at heart.

  • TronSheridan

    Would I buy it? No. Would I ride it? Rhetorical question…right?

    • Born to Ride

      It looks like it can wheelie. Hold my beer…

  • AM

    Never seen a CBX so ugly! BS motorcycles??? Has to be Bull Shit.

    • Gabriel Owens

      You must not have seen many cbx’s. Ive seen far far worse.

    • Sayyed Bashir

      BS = Bad Seeds Motorcycles.

      • AM

        I know for sure. But like I said it should be Bull Shit Motorcycles. Because a bike that looks like that has to be Bull Shit!!!

      • Ted

        Wrong Bashir. AM IS DEFINITELY RIGHT.

  • Mahatma

    Why not a mono shock?

    • Sayyed Bashir

      The frame wasn’t designed for it.

  • B.Hoop

    The right front 3/4 view where you can become mesmerized by the headers and forget the rest of the bike isn’t bad.

  • GreggJ

    No

    • Gabriel Owens

      Boo this man. Booo!

  • Gabriel Owens

    I would drive it very very carefully.

  • Merlin Stewart

    What you do if you wrecked 3 or 4 bikes.

    • Ted

      That’s the definitive answer. No, I would have more respect for the poor dead things.

  • SerSamsquamsh

    With all the weird kitbashing it looks like a giant technical LEGO kit. It putter around on it given a go!

    • RyYYZ

      Almost certainly a ZRX1100 swingarm with additional bracing. The shock mounts and eccentric adjusters are a dead giveaway.

  • Old MOron

    “that appear to have been rear-ended by a deep-South Senatorial candidate”
    Goddamn JB, you sure can drip honey.

    • michael32853hutson@yahoo.com

      i caught that-must admit i laughed…

    • fzrider

      looks like a bike the devil would ride…

  • john phyyt

    ” Not enough leverage to steer into a massive deathwobble more than three or four times a mile, courtesy of grippy modern tires mated with a rickety old mild steel frame”

    Nail….. Head. He he he You have to “really sacrifice” for ART. .

    Should handle well enough for a gentle cruise to Taco bell. Job done.

    I love it and am glad that it exists. I don’t want or need to own it.

    See; this is ART.

  • FreeDominion

    You folks must be straining for material.

    • Sayyed Bashir

      You don’t like the article or the motorcycle? This magazine is called Motorcycle.com after all. It is about all kinds of motorcycles.

      • FreeDominion

        The terminology I used in my post answered your question before you asked it.

        This website is called motorcycle.com. Choosing to write an article and give attention to a bike chopped up by someone who obviously knows nothing of engineering principles or appropriate geometry, and asking if people would ride it seems to me to show a lack of real material. Is this going to become like middle school art class where everyone’s art is ‘good in it’s own way’ just so nobody’s feelings are hurt? I hope not, because it’s complete bullshit. Art museums are about all kinds of art, but nobody is going to nail up an 8-month-old’s crayon scribbles next to Alexandros of Antioch’s Venus de Milo.

        This article would make sense if it were part of a series titled, “Horrible Builds, and Why You Should Never, Never, Never Do This”. At least then people might learn how building a motorcycle is more than just welding a bunch of parts together, not to mention how easy it is to screw up the precise balance of forces created by professional engineering. There’s a very good reason why engineers are licensed.

        • Jeff S. Wiebe

          Speaking only as a reader who looks forward to nearly anything published about motorcycles, I cut them more slack. Granted, this is very watery soup, but some of us are sufficiently underfed with actual riding that this provides a little content to our empty bellies. (Metaphors mutilated in keeping with the bike being discussed.)

          • john burns

            I was kind of thinking like “Hot or Not?” for motorcycles. The best part is the comments, which are fun and enlightening. For instance, I did not realize we’re missing our lower engine mounts. I learned something.

          • john burns

            dang lookit that. 1K Facebook shares.

        • Born to Ride

          This whole “would you ride it?” Series is dedicated to digging up ridiculous chopped up bikes and asking us if we’d swing a leg. I think it’s fun and better than reading gushy sponsored ads.

        • Ian Parkes

          Look up and you might just make out the point of the story going waay past.

  • Starmag

    Yeah, because it has That Six. In between moments of frame terror, I’d be searching hard for words of diplomacy for the owner when i got back.

  • Alaskan18724

    I’d ride it, to pay my respects to the organ donor. Then I’d flay the worthless sack of—I mean, the worthless waste of food who committed this atrocity. ‘Twould have been better far to give it an honorable burial.

  • Butch Schultz

    What a waste of flat slides.

  • Mad4TheCrest

    Absolutely yes, I would ride this. I’ve lived. I’ve left progeny. What have I got to lose?

  • Ride it ??? Yes!

  • allworld

    Sure I would ride it. I wouldn’t buy it nor would I have built it.

  • bdc1989@sbcglobal.net

    I’ve seen a hell of a lot worse looking ‘custom’ bikes than this one.
    At least they resisted the urge to put semi-knobbies on it and then call it a ‘scrambler’

    • Ted

      Your joking I hope. That you’ve actually seen worse?

  • SRMark

    Swap out the clip-ons for superbike bars, put some street Ohlins on the back to drop the butt a bit an put a real tank on it (CBXs were very thirsty) and you have a real bike. I’d ride it like it is though.

  • Ron Hayes

    The swing arm appears very similar to the ZRX1200’s. The funny thing is that a 6 cylinder with a peanut tank probably can only go 100 miles at most and that is a huge overestimation. I would ride it but make sure its fasteners are tight first.

    • RyYYZ

      Close – ZRX1100. The 1200 had non-round-section tubing, the 1100’s were round.

  • Donnie

    The alternator brushes are worn out.
    CBX owners will get that joke.

  • Vrooom

    Is “would I ride it” a challenge? Someone once said that to me about a mini bike there kids rode, and 3 minutes later I was jumping it over a log. I wouldn’t spend actual money on it, but I’d ride it till one of us gave up.

    • Born to Ride

      A challenge similar to that landed my buddy’s Dad in the hospital with screws in his collarbone. Evidently a cr80 expert with a 50 year old man on it can loop in 4th gear wide open…

      • john burns

        so can an RM85

  • Rokster

    Why would anyone NOT ride it?

    • Rocky Stonepebble

      Actuarial figures?

  • Matt O

    Yes, without hesitation. That tank doesn’t fit but the rest I could almost live with

  • RyYYZ

    The only bikes that I’ve seen that I would hesitate to ride are those that look to be actually dangerous and/or very marginal in the handling department. Hardtail choppers with forks extended 3 feet. Any kind of Boss Hog type monstrosity.

    As for this? It’s not the prettiest, that’s for sure, and probably not too practical, but hell, yeah, I’d ride it.

  • Bryan Spears

    Looks like it’d be scary to ride at anything past a leisurely pace. Still, I want a go

  • Sam Birchill

    A real sin. Looks like and exercise in bad taste. Would I ride it? I suppose around the block, but I wouldn’t waste any money on the thing.

  • michael32853hutson@yahoo.com

    haha the swingarm is a tad over engineered but still lighter than a solid aluminum billet one would be-i like it! it has attitude! would i ride it? heck yeah! would i buy it? no way

  • Rocky Stonepebble

    No. I might be seen and recognized. Funny, though, that you should mention HMS Victory. Interesting historical fact; did you know Frenchmen run like school-girls at the sound of a cap gun?

    Victory is now a dry-docked museum in Portsmouth.

  • Bmwclay

    I would restore it to stock. Unless it was the later one with fairing and bags.

  • Thad Stelly

    Not sure about the bike, but seeing some new dental implant technology…

  • therr850

    All these evil vibs,,,, it’s not my style but I’d ride it. Might be fun for the length to empty the tank. Then I’d give it back,,, because it’s not my style.

  • Thad Stelly

    Probably wouldn’t matter removing another link from the chain, as the saying goes you can only polish a tu…

  • Walter
  • mu_liki_liki

    Put a tank more like a VTX on it and a handle bar instead of clip-ons and I’d buy it.

  • StripleStrom

    cbx motor? Stop there. that’s enough for me. have you seen (or heard!!!) the one on YouTube that somebody combined into a v12? pure music.

  • Larry Kahn
  • edbob

    Bathe her and bring her to me…

  • kenneth_moore

    They forgot to fabricate the front downtubes. That massive engine appears to be hanging by the top mounts only. They should call it: “Twist and Shout!”

  • Ronald Vennell

    What’s uglier than that CBX is your gratuitous political commentary.

    • Tinwoods

      TrumpBot Alert! TrumpBot Alert!

      • Ronald Vennell

        No fool, I read this site to expand my knowledge of motorcycling. If I want in your face biased political commentary I can get it fresh on FOX news or CNN not regurgitated from a motorcycle “journalist”.

        • Sayyed Bashir

          So you got upset over the four words “deep-South Senatorial candidate” whereas I didn’t get upset over “The piece de resistance of ratbuggery, though, has to be that Sportster gas tank, which fits the rest of the bike like a lead apron fits your choice of Kardashian” even though I am a staunch defender of both Harleys and Kardashians, so give it a break.

          • Ronald Vennell

            I suppose, the ugly side of Politics has permeated everything else so why should motorcycling escape it?

          • john burns

            the ugly part is the loss of the ability to laugh at ourselves. Here, I’ll do one for you: The rear end looks like it’s been on a USO tour with Al Franken. Happy?

          • Ronald Vennell

            Is the USO tour a motorcycle event that Al Franken rides in?

        • Ian Parkes

          Oh cool, thanks! He was talking about that child molesting Republican candidate in Alabama wasn’t he? And doesn’t Trump think he’s just fine? Oh, you guys!

          • Ronald Vennell

            This isn’t the venue to argue partisan politics. Especially with someone like you who has just demonstrated that he has a biased relationship with the facts. Typical VFR rider………;-)

          • Ian Parkes

            Biased? Moi? Actually, i’m agin all abuses of power but sexual abuse is particularly insidious. If the perpetrators remain in power at least you can try to ridicule them. I’m sad for anyone who thinks the best way to look at this is through the lens of partisan politics.

          • Ronald Vennell

            I do enjoy abusing the power of a motorcycle…….

            If you think it’s so sad then why do you participate? Why do so many of you non-partisans only present partisan examples?

  • pfettig77

    The bike doesn’t bother me that much, but the rant was sheer poetry.

  • Gee S

    This is a set of shorter rear shocks and a sensible tank away from being a nice motorcycle.

    +2 on the death wobble thing, tho … the raised tail definitely shortens the trail numbers on the front end enough to be express ticket to plaster.

    And although I know what the builder meant when he painted BS in large letters on the tank, that is not the message I took from it.

    Look at the bright side, though — good set of modern forks, streetable tires, a pair of six piston Tokikos on the front — and at least it doesn’t have a Nitrous system or a turbocharger. Compared to a lot of customs, somebody at least THOUGHT about riding it.

    Yeah, I’d ride it. 😉