Father's Day Buyer's Guide 2016 – $25-50
You’ve been given one of the greatest gifts there is if your old dad’s a motorcycle guy and passed the gene onto you. If you’re lucky enough to still have him around in all his grouchy glory, bestowing some small token of your esteem upon the paterfamilias is the right and customary thing to do.
Lemonbest Double Eye Watch Repair Magnifier Loupe Jeweler Magnifying Glasses Tool Set With LED Light 10X 15X 20X 25X
A handy item to have when it comes to dealing with small things in tight, dark places – and for not-so-subtly implying that your old man’s blind as a bat… comes with four quickly interchangeable pairs of lenses. Big fun with potential practicality for only $35.08.
22-Inch Magnetic Floor Sweeper
You get old, you drop things, you lose things, you can’t see anymore to find them, you hate the world. Crack a cold one, take a deep breath, and roll this thing around till it finds the missing hardware. Yes, it will find your car keys. $39.99 at your local Harbor Freight.
Nitecore HC50 Headlamp
Is a theme developing here? Dad will wonder how he got so old without one of these, highly useful for working on motorcycles and everything else around the house and outside it, including helping his kids find their ass with both hands when it’s dark. Around $50.
Harley-Davidson Stainless Steel Barrel Mug
Double-layered and insulated with lid, to keep 17 ounces of Dad’s favorite beverage hot or cold and contained. $25
StopnGo Tire Plugger with CO2
Pay the extra dollars for the CO2 cartridges; then Pops will be able to re-inflate his tire after he plugs it with one of StopnGo’s excellent mushroom plugs. (MO tested here.)
Doffo Winery Kurt Caselli Foundation Wine
Our favorite Temecula winery’s second year producing a Kurt Caselli Foundation wine can’t be bad. The proprietary red blend sells for $40, half of which is donated to the Caselli Foundation to promote safe off-roading.
Motion Pro Metric Hardware Kit
This won’t work if your Dad rides a Harley, but everybody else would kill to have this next to the toolbox. Instead of crawling all over the garage floor looking for that missing nut, bolt or washer, you just open this box and whip out a shiny new Class 12.9 replacement. $42.99 is a small price to pay…
S100 Motorcycle Detailing Kit
S100 Total Cycle Cleaner is excellent stuff for low-effort motorcycle cleaning; it gets into those impossible-to-reach nooks/ crannies and dissolves the dirt like few other products, which you can then blast away with yon hose. The Detailing Kit looks the business and is just the thing for really anal-retentive dads. For normal ones, a big bottle of the original S100 cleaner (in the white bottle) will be just as appreciated (since most dads already have a stash of nearly-dead sprays and waxes and sponges), for substantially less money. Around $50
A Nice T-shirt!
So you can’t afford to get your Dad the motorcycle of his dreams, a T-shirt is the next best thing. All the manufacturers sell them you know, and they’re mostly pretty swell, like this long sleeve vintage item from Indian, Bonneville inspired and with Burt Munro’s World’s Fastest Indian #35 on the sleeve. $44.99
REV’IT Touring Summer Socks
Socks don’t have to suck. I don’t have any nice expensive ones like these, but if somebody ever did give me some, I’d love them forever – the socks and the person. Approx. $35 all over the interwebs.
BeadRider Seat
When it comes to Old Man accessories, the bead seat is right up there with the rubber donut. Maybe that’s because you wise up with age (if you’re lucky), and beaded seats are great for letting air circulate, thus keeping your undercarriage dry and happy on long rides. Right up there with the Reduced Effort Clutch for implying, in a nice respectful way, that your old man’s not getting any younger. $37.
Craftsman Extreme Grip 5-Piece Wrench Set
What the?! Craftsman claims its Extreme GRIP 5-piece wrench set “features a gripping action which allows you to grip rounded fasteners with up to 5-times more gripping power than a standard Craftsman wrench.” Some sort of funky movable jaws, Craftsman says, provide solid fit for standard, metric and rounded fasteners, with locking cams on the box ends that let these five wrenches latch onto 3/8″, 7/16″, 1/2″, 9/16″, 5/8″, 10mm, 11mm, 12mm, 13mm, 14mm, 15mm and 16mm fasteners. Sounds crazy, and maybe just the thing for crazy dads who work on old junk. $29.99
KLIM S.O.L. Survival Pak
Now that Dad’s got a new Adventure bike, this could be the gift that ensures he keeps on giving. Packed in there he’ll find a survival blanket, fire starter, rescue howler, fishing/sewing kit, dry bag, duct tape… you get the picture. $25.99
Craftsman Mach Series ⅜-Inch Ratchet
Craftsman says the 72-tooth Mach Series 3/8-Inch Drive Ratchet is built for speed, and can turn sockets 16 times more efficiently than a regular ratchet. It combines the speed of a push-twisting screwdriver, a ratcheting screwdriver, and the higher torque and access of a ratchet in one tool. If it works half as cool as it looks, it’s worth every penny (It was an online Hot Buy! this morning, $23.74). And even if it doesn’t, it looks like a fun thing to play with. $23.74
RAM EZ-Strap Rail Mount with Universal X-Grip Cell Phone Holder
Ram’s spring-loaded X-Grip holder is a simple, elegant way to hold onto cell phones from 1.875 to 3.25 inches wide. The strap on the base model pictured can be cut to fit tubing, square rails and irregular shapes from 0.5 to 2.58-in in diameter. Multiple adjustment points allow you to move the universal X-Grip holder to the optimum viewing position, with a mount that rotates 180 degrees. It’s up to you to ’splain to your dad that his phone has a built-in GPS, and what it’s for.
Oil
Oil is such a personal thing among gearheads, you’ll need to be careful here so as not to start a Father’s Day border war. If you know what brand your dad likes, you’re good to go. If not, a little subtle questioning should uncover the info you need to give him a gift that shows you really care. And depending on the brand, you might be able to include a new oil filter as well – which proves you care. A nice beverage to accompany the ritual oil change is likely to bring a tear to the eye of the crustiest father.
More by John Burns
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